One year ago today, I got a phone call at 3:30 in the morning. Hubby answered the phone in another room besides the bedroom, and was talking but I had just thought it was work calling him. Boy was I wrong. My sister who was 41 at the time, passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack.
The secret part of this is I have days where I am fine. I have other days where regret takes over and I think of all the 'should haves" "Could haves" that come with life. Apparently each one of those are rekindled at death.
I long to go back in time, to make things right, but I know that she knows i loved her.
Today, I will spend parts of my day remembering her. The sister who "heard" Santa's bells with me in the deep of summer! LOL. The one who threw a pillow at me (which had a battery pack in it since it was a massaging pillow) and cried with me when it hurt ~then tickled me until I laughed so hard we were crying again. The sister I think of when I eat pinto beans, because that is what we cooked together when mama was recovering from surgery. The sister who took me trick or treating, then laughed at me when I fell and dropped 1/2 my candy stash...... to only give me 1/2 of hers when her friends were out of site. If I could see her face to face one more time... I would tell it was my honor to be her "baby sister" and how proud of her I was in the way she raised her son.
I love you Mel! I always will! Give Jesus a hug for me, and Granny as well!
The anniversaries are hard. My sister passed away almost 7 years ago and there are still days when I ache for her.
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