You Are Not The Glue: A Message To Wives & Mothers

Today I wanted to share a message that I shared for a local church for their "Mother & Daughter Tea" that they had for Mother's Day. It was a lovely event and I am thankful that I had the opportunity. This was a personal message that was given to me on the way to work one morning that began a transformation deep within me, deep in my heart and helped me get over something that was keeping me from being the best wife and mother I could possibly be. I was honored that day, to share it with my own daughter and she too got to hear the message that one day will encourage her when she too is a mother and wife.

A while back I shared a topic on YouTube that was given to me through heartache and frustration. And it was simply that we as women are the thermostats to our home! I will link that video here because I did touch a bit on that topic while I shared what I learned about glue.


The week leading up to this lovely tea, I was in turmoil. I was fighting a lot of negative emotions not only from work, but from home too. And to be honest, they were self inflicted. That Tuesday I had a terrible attitude about everything. Nothing made me happy and I was just not fun to be around. I didn't even want to be around me. Have you ever had those days where you just get on your own nerves? Oh my! As a mom and wife, we tend to be the one that keeps things spinning. We pick up from practices keep laundry clean, keep the house picked up, and some of us even work outside the home while doing it all. I felt like I was the glue holding our family together. In fact that seems to be a running misconception among many women. I call it a lie of the world. I knew this was NOT right and I could not do it anymore. That next morning on the way to work ~ God had a "come to Jesus" meeting with me and reminded me that *I* was not the glue that held anything together. Proof of that was how I was feeling like my life was falling apart.

I marinated on that through the day, and while I got an aha ~ and was able to let go of the lie that I had been believing, I knew that if this was what He told me, I would find it in His word and I did!

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:16-17 NIV

We are NOT the glue. Our husbands are NOT the glue. Jobs and careers are NOT the glue even in our finances because God is God & He is bigger than any situation that comes up. God is the glue that holds things together. He never changes. We cannot be the glue because we change in the blink of an eye. When we do try to be the glue, our best is like water soluble glue that can appear to have the strength, but will eventually dessenigrate and anything it was holding will eventually come crashing down. That is how I felt on that Tuesday until on the way to work. 

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4: 4-9 NIV

What stands out to me, is "Let your gentleness be evident to all". The definition of gentleness is the quality of being kind, tender, or mild mannered. It also means softness of action or effect. If you are anxious, you cannot be gentle. If you are tying to be the glue when you were not intended to be the glue, you cannot be gentle. 

25 

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

Proverbs 31: 25-31

Remember, you are the thermostat to your safe haven of your home. You are the one God created to be gentleness in a harsh world. You are the one to give softness when life gets hard. You however, were not created to hold everything together nor spin plates all day everyday. Lighten up on yourself, let the load go, and watch what God can do in you and your family's life. I promise it is beautiful! 

Love always,

~Sheila ~