Dear Fat,

Dear Fat,
You have been gone for quite a while now, and wile I would love to tell you I miss you, I truly am getting along just fine. There are very cold days that I miss the warmth you gave me, and times when I could use you as an excuse to order a super sized french fry AND a strawberry shake without cringing at the sound of my voice ordering that crap! You used to bring me comfort, but now... I just buy warmer clothes, and keep a blanket close by. But I am writing to tell you that.. you have left a little bit of you behind. I think you thought that maybe this was a trial seperation, but dude, I meant it! It is OVER! I am done with you! You took a part of me that was mine ~ my self confidence! Well guess what, my thinner jeans gave that back to me! Yes they did! And they love me more then you ever could. YOU used me ... that's right. But I have to be honest and say I used you too. You were my excuse for alot of things, but now, I have control again. And you dont' need to come see me. I am shipping your leftovers to you! You can expect them all to arrive by the beginning of summer, and PLEASE, PLEASE do not return! I will not pick it up!

Sincerly,
ME