Saturday, August 1, 2009

An unconditional love

It seems when my heart needs a makeover, and a lift, God knows just how to step in and take action to make that happen like only he can. Everything that I have been going through lately, has just been step by step leading me to this weekend.

I am once again at my mother in love's beckon call for the weekend. I in no way am complaining, but instead walking in the light of unconditional love. The kind that we experience as mothers, and so many of us learn to face as our mothers age, and in my case, my mother in love. Back in the latter part of May ( Well, mother's day really ) my my mother in love was hopsitialized for bronchiadus as well as the fact that her white blood count was low. Every since then she has struggled ot build her energy back up. Her health has declined some as a result. Her parkinsons has turned into an enemy that is attacking every ounce of pride she may have.

I actually had to sit with her and feed her this evening. That was hard. I hate seeing such a strong pillar of my husbands family, be in such a weak state as she was. Let alone having to hold her glass so she can get a drink, wipe her after she potty's and even have to help with dressing. I do not mind one of those things at all, and though it sounds tedious, I love that woman with an unconditional kind of love that I haven't had in awhile. I guess because my kids are more independant and not having to do those simple things for someone else, it was just a humbling day.

More then anything, at this very moment I am in love. In love with life. In love with the simple ability to not only care for my husband, our children, myself, but ... my mother in love and husband's family as well. I am touched, not by what *I* have done, but what God is doing through me. I have no clue if my husbands family is all saved, and judging by behaviors, I think it is safe to bet it is time to get serious about being on my knees, and in their life in ways that God is calling me to.

I did emotionally eat today, but just a tad. Nothing major, nothing that will cause me to want to jump off a bridge or something ( *wink wink*) but I did make a not so good choice. In the midst of all I have learned, and done I think it is okay. I can handle it. Do you know what that means? It means I too am growing up! Yay me! Miracles do still happen in a time such as today. When you face a situation as I am, you really realize that yes.... being active in persuing a successful goal in your weightloss journey is important, but more important then that, is living! I am living. Living a very fruitful and blessed life.

Another challenging week is ending, and is ending in a way that I just never thought would happen. I never realized all the aggrivations and inconviences of the week would teach me daily about uncondtional love ~ of friends, family, even of myself. God is good! God is so good!

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