Motivation for your Monday: Even Keeled

There has been LOTS that God Almighty is working on in me lately. I mean like TONS. And while it is so hard, I can tell you this... it is way better than just floating around in this thing called life.

Are you an "all or nothing' kind of person? Either your house is a disaster or it's spotless? Either your cooking all your meals for weeks or your buying take out instead? You either clip coupons or are buying the most expensive items? This is one time of year that we see extremes all around us. Take this past Friday.

In the United States, we have what is called "black friday" where retailers swoon customers with great "you can't miss" deals. Without extra costs, it comes with frenzy, anxiety, depression, greed ~ even though at times very subtle, with a whole plethora of debt, forgotten bills, and fear. I know this from experience you see, because this is only the second year I chose not to participate. And no, it wasn't for a political ~ or consumer stance. See for me it was a spiritual matter.

No where in your traditional "Black Friday" events can you see the actions of an even keeled person.

The man who fears God will avoid ALL extremes. Ecclesiastes 7:18

This is an area that God is really digging deep within me. I have gone through many extremes in various areas of my life and willing have done so. The problem is I am now reaping those consequences and helping to undo those consequences in regards to our children as well. See, what a man reaps not only does he sow but so the children for generations to come. When we see our children effected by our actions it is heartbreaking.

See I helped our children become greedy when it comes to Christmas because I thought the more under the tree was better. For growing up there was always a ton under the tree ~ even on the "light" years. That is what Christmas was to me and I began that same tradition with our children. Now.. I regret every second of that and while they are still home I must undo some damage. For years they went to their grandparents because ... that was the weekend this mom did the bulk of her Christmas shopping filling the back and even center of my Explorer (or minivan).

I was a better parent because I made sure (with the help of my husband) that our kids had a big Christmas every year. I might have had to pay a few bills late but by golly they had a good Christmas. I really wasn't a better parent ~ for I was greedy, prideful, wanted selfish gain (attention and to be recognized for doing so much), in fact it was downright sick! Right now I am completely disgusted.

Does that mean I won't go buy Christmas gifts for our children? No. I love being able to give to them. But it does mean we won't have a ton under the tree ~ simply because we can. The last few years with the adults I really put a lot of time and thought into each gift purchase I make. I don't pick up something because it is cheap. I don't pick up something because what I already have gotten them wasn't enough. Even though I do put a lot of time and thought into some of the kids gifts, I was in the habit of providing a TON under the tree so I would fill in with things I got really cheap. Gift giving was indeed ALL of the all or nothing mentality. Then I couldn't afford to get much for them for months afterward.

Black Friday often had me grabbing things just because it was a good deal. I love this verse: "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9" I was indeed quickly provoked by those sales, and often did get angry afterward when I realized how much I spent.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

So I challenge you this Monday to start striving to live more even keeled than ever before! I know even though some of these notes were jotted down weeks ago... they ring so true for me today. 

 

Mind your business!

Photo Credit

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

This particular set of verses really just GRAB me every time I read them! Like usually pierces my heart! The first time I read them, I had to pick my jaw up off the ground because Paul said "mind your own business". I think I laughed out loud and cackled about that for a week! Why? I have no idea, but it was clever!

So again, these verses are deep on my heart, and I thought I'd sit down and maybe dissect those out and find a way to actually apply them to my everyday life. Have you ever done that? Not just said "Oh.. I need to start doing that" but really sit down and figure out HOW to do it?! Of course you NEED God's leading and prompting otherwise you really are going to find yourself working three times harder than you would if you just let Him guide ya.

1. "Make it your ambition"
What does that mean? Let's look at the word ambition from a Christian (Christ Like) view. The Greek word for “ambition,” philotim, means literally “to esteem as an honor.” Being ambitious, in and of itself, is not wrong, it’s what we esteem or honor that can be a problem. The Bible teaches that we should be ambitious, yet the objective is to be accepted by Christ, not by the world. (reference) So, We need to make it our "goal" to esteem God first and foremost in our life.

2. to lead a quiet life
Many scriptures lead us to understand that we should be living humbly and seeking to bring honor to God Almighty alone. Not ourselves. Not our spouse, but to God. If we are leading a life that is loud, and achieve honor, wealth or fame than most likely it will not be quiet for long. It will instead become cluttered with many voices ~ including some inner voices that we do not need to give life to.

3.  to mind your own business
Stop worrying why "so and so" did this or said that. Stop being so busy in everyone's lives trying to "fix" them that your own life is falling apart. Stop trying to look over the fence at the neighbors grass wondering why your's isn't growing the same as theirs or vice-versa. If we truly are going to be mind our own business, we might actually grasp that "child like" mentality that God so adores. Do you know why? They are so busy in their own little lives, they have no idea how your life compares to theirs and honestly they don't care to. As adults we are nosy, and have our hands in pots where they don't belong. There I said it.

4. Work with your hands
I love this part! It's time to get your hands dirty ... and busy. Why? We were not created to sit around and just fiddle our thumbs. If our hands are busy we don't have time to give to be in everyone's business around us do we? We don't have time to spend sitting idly waiting for life to happen around us. The proverbial woman was amazing! She didn't remain idle! She kept busy. I bet she minded her own business, and was busy enough that her life WAS quiet and she OBVIOUSLY had to be content. (This does not mean you HAVE to work outside your home, though you cannot discount those whom God has called to do so. Keeping a home, tending to children, and taking proper care of our husbands is a full time job in it's own.)

5. so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders
"Actions speak louder than words" is a phrase that most of us have both heard and experienced. It's true. You can say all you want to me, post on Facebook, send in a text message but until I see it happening I do not believe it. I try not to say something myself unless I am already doing it. We don't win the respect of outsiders (strangers, even friends who don't know you on the deep level you wish they did) simply by talking or even by showing up in church on Sunday. I sadly know many who are dedicated to sitting in church on Sunday, yet their life shows no fruit of that. I also know a few who do not attend church, yet they "HAVE" church daily and I DO see the fruit of that!

6. and so that you will not be dependent on anybody
This doesn't mean you get to be in control!! No sir! In fact, it is a bit less than that! No.. a LOT less than that! When I am living a quiet life, minding my own business, working with my hands I do not have time to be a control freak! I am also not depending on someone else to tell me what to do. Do you know why? Because if I am truly honestly putting this into practice, I am relying on God Almighty to lead and guide me. He leads me to the scriptures I need for the day. He leads me to what pod casts/messages to listen to that time of day. He leads me to what book to read. I am not dependent on anyone but God Almighty. Why? I believe HE is in control ~ and I can depend on HIM to lead my husband to make the right decisions for our family, my directors at work to make the proper changes/decisions at work to bring Him the glory, and even for His guidance on what to cook for dinner/what area in our home to clean/etc and even what encouraging word you all need to hear on this blog.

Pray Hard. Work Hard. Play Hard. Love Hard.

If I had to try to put that set of scriptures in today's terms and with more detail it would go something like this:
Make it your daily goal to be ever present in your own life under God Almighty's authority that you are too busy to be a busybody who is more concerned with other people's faults and life to tend to your own. Be busy and active in your life, home, marriage, parenting, and at work so that your daily doings are worthy of respect from not only your friends and family, but complete strangers as well as pure evidence of God at work in your own life. By doing so, you must realize that God is bigger than you, and stay so tuned into Him and His will that you do not depend on anybody else but Him to fulfill you and your needs.

Silence

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:23-24 (Message)

God has been giving me these one word wonders lately. For a while it was joy ~ and I have to say my life filled with LOTS of joy around that same time. I am still able to embrace joy like never before.

Here lately it is Silence. (Go ahead and click on that word for precious jewel of what God means by silence) In a way, God has been calling me to a place of Silence. One I fight every moment with all that I am because I am a "great communicator". In reality, I am a great talker. I am slowly learning to listen. As a teacher, I know the mouth and the ears do not work well at the same time. One has to stop, for it to be the best of the situation. Too many times I want to talk through a situation, to "get it out", yet not yielding to hear what the Lord is trying to SAY through that situation. When someone is rendered speechless, it is often because they are not usually quiet enough to hear what took them by surprise enough. It's there. Every day.

Silence.

I feel a pull... to be more silent. To allow silence to surround me, in order to get down on my face before the throne. See, it's not enough to just get down to my knees ~ I am past that point. I need to be on my face, in His presence, and that doesn't happen without silence. It can't! Without silence, how would anyone know they are welcome!

When I say I am a good communicator  ~ what I basically mean is I have a gift of the gab. And it's down right annoying me lately. I can't even find silence when it is just me sometimes, and that is downright wrong. I truly feel God pulling me into a place of Silence. A place where the only spoken word should be minimal, meek, and humbling ~ not to others, but to myself


Just recently my deepest desire began to want to run to the Father with my hurts, pains, confessions, yet I find myself turning to people ~ who truly have no part of the situation but have a listening ear. While I do believe God gave us each other for fellowship, friendship, and the like I also believe He never intends us to run to one another before we run to Him.

Silence.

Selah (rest)

Silence (noun) (definition found here)1. The condition or quality of being or keeping still and silent.

2. The absence of sound; stillness.
3. A period of time without speech or noise.
4. Refusal or failure to speak out.

I feel a period of Silence coming. One that I am honestly crying about, but out of obedience I have no other choice but to just do it. I feel it within my spirit that I need to Silence myself in a way that is described as "a period of time without speech or noise". It is very hard, but that means walking away from some habits ~ chatting on facebook about every little detail of my life, running to some friends before God, sharing some intimate moments between God and I that maybe were just meant for He and I. He wants me to be silent, so that He can dwell, and be silent in me.

In the Silence ~ Jason Upton
In the silence you are speaking.
In the quiet I can feel the fire
and it's burning burning deeply
Burning all that it is that You desire
to be silent in me.

My soul is screaming out ~ not to be heard, but to be quiet!

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 NIV

So, where do I go from here? I wait. I silence myself, and I wait. As long as it takes.

Was surprised by Scripture!

Instructions for Christian Households

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers,[c] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. 

 Colossians 3:18-25 NIV

I have read these words before, many times actually. But as I read them again yesterday something about the way it was written really stood out and was very profound for me and I don't think it is to be taken lightly. Because I truly believe that every word of the Bible is truth, and the way it was written is purposeful ~ not by accident!. So much so, that I can't hold it in I have to share!!

While the husband is the head of the house, and YES I do believe that,  you would think that the scriptures would point out the duties of the husband first. But it wasn't. Look up there again! It starts with us wives submitting to our husbands. THEN on to the husband loving their wives and not being harsh. I believe it is like that for a reason. Well several actually but our husbands cannot love us without being harsh if we do not submit to them and respect them. If we take on responsibilities that assume we do not trust our husband's judgement, or such we are not submitting to him. If we talk down to them, even in private with our closest friends, we are not submitting to them.

Looking up there it is so clear to me that one thing leads to another. If the wife submits to the husband, he then loves her without being harsh. If the wife submits to the husband, the husband loves his wife without being harsh, the children then will obey their parents. If the wife submits to the husband, the husband loves the wife, the children obey, then the husband will not discourage the children. Amazing right?! Just another piece of the puzzle I think to finding a Christ like home atmosphere without pulling all kinds of tricks out of the hat, or "manipulating" things to happen. If we would just dig in the Word, ask God to lead us to scriptures that will lead us to Holy living ~ we would be so much happier in our day to day lives!

Summer's Comin ... it's gonna be different

As a preschool teacher with a rather large class this year, I am really ready for summer. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TEACHING! Even the most difficult of children, are a blessing to me. God uses each and every one of those children to teach me something. I actually had to TEACH a child how to play this year, because the expectations at home were for him to be a man (yes, at 3). Our school year has gone from August 23, 2010 and will end on June 2, 2011. Every one of those days mattered! Every day with each of those children mattered. I pray that if anything, the Love of Christ was shown by my actions, words, and the way I handled some very tricky situations. I have grown TREMENDOUSLY spiritually during this year.

Photo courtesy of: Google Images

My own kids have gone through some of their own milestones this school year. Firsts for all three of them. Our daughter has successfully gotten through her first year in Jr. High. (Middle School) The twins had gone through their FIRST regulated state test. All three of them are realizing that they are growing up some, and the standards for them have been risen. Not just here at home, but at school AND church as well. The girl will soon be in the youth at church, which leads her to a few new firsts as well. The boys, well they will get to experience their group at church without sister leading the way. See what I mean? Growth! We have had some growing pains, and have even wondered if we were being stunted. BUT.. God has been merciful, and has shown me His mercy endures forever!

This summer is by far going to be different then it has been in the last few summers. The kids have bikes (as do I) which will lead to a few bike rides by us all. It has also opened the doors to many kids that the kids now play with in our neighborhood.  I have seen some pro's and con's from that during this semester, but it is a learning experience for us all. This is the first year in a while we do not have a pool in the backyard. (Less work for me, but also less convenience for when we want to go swimming.) I have taken care of most of my "learning" hours for teaching this year, so there is no "Momma's going away for a few days" in July. I may only have to go ONE day! :) God is so good!

I have been encouraged to make this summer count, not only for myself but for our entire family. I want to be able to embrace many many many opportunities for our children to grow spiritually. I want to get a daily routine going with them so they can embrace God ~ and truly give themselves all the way to Him, and learn what it is to have a relationship. A REAL relationship. I am thinking a new topic of study for each month, maybe every few weeks and need to begin to try to find some already printed curriculum or... somehow create my own. Me, myself already have so many books (study books) that I need to tackle and GET THROUGH. See, I have a bad habit of starting a study but NOT finishing it. Summer is the perfect time to get in a good habit.

We have signed up for "Kids bowl free" at our local bowling alley. A dear friend of ours has a pool which opens up a chance to swim once or maybe twice a week (along with some good fellowship). I want the kids to dig into some good reading and possibly still writing reports once a week since we regularly visit the library (that will be one of our bike rides each week). (Hey, the teacher in me will never be squelched! I actually did that on my own when I was growing up! LOVED it!)

Trust me, there will be a time of rest as well, but I want our time at home to be meaningful and not just 'wasted' time. Perhaps I will allow them to have an online blog this summer to share their OWN experiences.

I am a bit of a strange creature!

I have come to realize how much different I am then many others I know. The things that are important to me, often go to the wayside with someone else. I can raise eyebrows faster then a flea can bite a mouse! NO kidding! Does that surprise you? If you have spent time with me here on the blog, or even in my real life then this is not something new. It may be something new to me however.

See, for years I have done things to fit in. I have said things in agreement when my heart would scream out for redemption. All for the sake of acceptance. The more I realize what is important to me, the more I am changing and quickly! The more I change, the more I realize *I* am not changing, but my perspective on myself is chanigng.

Take this weekend for example. I committed to a dinner with the choir, AND I have a family reunion to go to. I instead, will be spending one on one time with my husband. We will be reconnecting, and simply just being with one another with no interruptions that we won't allow. Making this choice, I am sure that I will be frowned upon, but this is the most important relationship on this planet (obviously under my relationship with God), and so what if this doesn't line up with someone else's plan for me.

I no longer feel the need to explain myself when I make a decision that I feel in my heart is right. I no longer feel the need to be accepted by those who should love me (family) just because well, we are family. I no longer feel the need to do things simply to make others like me, or feel accepted by anyone. My husband amazes me, and though he may not be the man some think he should be, he displays the unconditional love of Christ every single day. I love this man more as times goes on. And since we have this opportunity to share time with one another, simply just being us, I am taking it with NO regrets.

I put my relationship with my husband on the top of my priority list. Way above my career, even above my children. YES you read that right. My husband is MORE important then my children, for they are an expression of our love for one another, and eventually they will grow up and leave home. That is what we are raising them for. I do not rely on my children to fullfill me, though they do naturally. I do not put them above my husband ever. Now yes, sometimes they get sick and need more time and attention at that moment, and there are times where something is gonig on with one of them, but you (hopefully) get what I mean. Every relationship that I have seen be in trouble, split up, divorced often was the neglect of this relationship. (Not always by the bride ~ but the groom has to do his part too.) There are times my husband gets pushed to the side because his needs come at a time when I am already wrapped up in something (such as dinner, laundry, etc) but I am quickly learning none of that matters. HE matters.

Too many women in my generation ( and if I am calling you out and you get offended ~ I am simply speaking my mind) put too much emphasis on their children and spoiling their children that the husband holds NO priority in their life, and then sings the song "What about me" when it comes to the relationship with her husband. YES it is hard work. YES it takes more then you have sometimes but God did not create the women to wear the pants in the relationship. IF that is how it is, you can expect trouble. Period. I do not, and do not want to wear the pants in the family. I want my husband to fill his role that specifically gave him, and I to fill mine. I know what some of you are thinking. "What if my husband doesn't want to wear the pants?"... my answer is simple. Stop trying to wear them yourself, and he may want to give it a try.

When it comes to our children right now, they are not enrolled in a million different things. They are kids. WE allow them to be kids. Simple as that. They have time to play outside after school. They have time to simply sit and enjoy Saturday morning cartoons if they want. Our daughter is starting Jr. High next year. She will be able to handle such things as sports, and after school clubs. The boys MAY be playing citywide football in the Fall. But..... I can tell you that if they do not get a chance to be kids, these things will be taken away. My kids have an imagination, very rarely complain they are bored, and have manners. I like it like that.

So, yes you can say we are an odd family. ANd honestly, I dont' give a hill of beans!

Oh so Holy!

It is amazing how much a bit of time in worship, can change your attitude on things.

I won't go into too much detail, but after a wonderful morning of worship Satan sure did want to send me his message that my "great day in the Lord" was going to struggle to move forth. But guess what!?! God gave me a song in my heart, and it moved me into a better place. I LOVE how when we allow God to move, and to be the KING in my life, things just work out. Even what feels impossible at the moment.

I had part of a song we sang at church this morning flowing through me. Oh silly me, just click on the video and you can hear it for yourself! (Please scroll to the bottom to pause the auto music)

You are Holy
Oh so Holy
You are Holy Lord of all
You are Holy
Oh so Holy
You are Holy Lord of all

Oh my dear friends, I have so much stirring in my heart. I must or I wouldn't be here this time of evening after such a busy afternoon. I need to rest, but my Spirit says not yet!

You are Holy
Oh so Holy
You are Holy Lord of all.....

Is He your Lord of all? He hasn't been mine for along time. Yes, I love my Lord, but there have been so many things in my life that have been put foremost important even above Him. This week for me is a time of Reflection. I am broken. Broken is good.

IF you have been like me, and haven't been worshipping enough lately,

You are Holy
Oh so Holy
You are Holy Lord of all.....

then by all means, please join me this week! My priority this week is to spend as much time in HIS presence as I can. I will be reading each of the accounts in the New Testament of Jesus' last week on this earth. I am also making it a priority to watch The Passion of the Christ on Friday. It's time to completely return to my first love, and I realize that some of the personal things I have been dealing with, are because that hasn't been nurtured as it should've been. Life gets busy, but honestly, that is no excuse!

I will NOT be reporting any weight loss stuff this week. I will however do an update on Monday, the day after Easter. I am not focusing on myself this week, but rather Him. So, here on the blog, if I get to blog, I will be focusing on HIM as well, and sharing perhaps what the Lord leads me to in that area of my life. There is so much we keep to ourselves because it just doesn't sound "right". Not anymore. I haven't shared enough of that lately.

May you be blessed this week!

Passing the "bread" .... don't take it!

This was my facebook status this morning:

Realized when I stop comparing my life with others, and what I do vs what others do, I realized I LOVE MY LIFE! I am so in a place of contentment right now, and I am enjoying it!

Wow. In so many ways that is pretty powerful! It reminds me of a scripture that Mrs. Cheryl uses frequently, and has been in my the front of my thoughts lately.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

See, many have talked about their issues with gluttony lately, and while I tend to be a glutton after self deprivation, on a regular basis food has nothing on my idleness. NOTHING. I will admit I am all into trying to figure out how to help other people live their lives better, to be able to experience more then they could ever imagine. BUT.... not always in a good way. I tend to push people away because of all my "suggestions", when really I wasn't trying to be pushy or make them feel bad about their living situations.

God brought the experience of when the twins were born, to the forefront of my mind early this morning, while I was showering. That tends to be our meeting place after I pray. LOL It was through the trial of having one twin home, the other one still hooked up to all kinds of machines taking one step forward followed by two steps back that I began to truly trust and lean on Him. THAT is where my relationship bloomed with him. It wasn't before then that I was ever in a situation that I couldn't control. I am controling. I like to know that things are running smoothly, and when they don't, I fix it.

The perfect example to this if you are a fly on the wall  you would see that everyday at around 4:30 we do a quick clean sweep in the livingroom and dining room, spray down the furniture with Fabreeze, and light a few scented candles. See my husband gets off work at 5 and is soon home afterwards. I LIKE for my home to be presentable for my husband. I figure he is out there working hard everyday for us. God has appointed my husband to be our financial provider. Since he works so hard, I like things in the afternoon/evenings to run as smoothly as possible. I want that for many people. It works for me, and I don't undestand why if someone is home all day, they can't do these things for their husband. Not really even just for their husband, but their home! It sets such a warm atmosphere, and shows those around us that they matter!But I have to let go and stop trying to convince those friends I love how important this is. It may not be important for them.

Yes, I work outside of the home, but please by no means consider that a break in my day. Remember, I teach preschool, and am responsible for 16 3 (well, now 4) year olds. I have about 30 minutes between the time I am done at the preschool until I pick up my own children from school. In that 30 minutes I might run to the store for milk, come home and put a load of laundry on to wash, or change bedding. Before I began teaching six years ago, I was a stay at home mom for a couple of years with young kids. I mean two babies and a preschooler. Somehow, I still made making my home a haven important. I know people get busy in their day, but it hurts when I see them suffering and not stepping up to the plate they should be.

SEE! I told you. I shared that with you because it is something I am struggling with very badly. Then I get alot of questions as to why I am "wasting my talent" in preschool. The mama bear rolls up and I have to get a bit testy! I am where God planted me! I am where God has put me for the time being. I love teaching, and yes I would LOVE to make more money at it, BUT...... I am not in it for the money. I am in it to serve my Lord. And while I get a paycheck now, my real paycheck will come in eternity. And I know that my rewards for being a good wife, and a good mommy will come later as well. Things that really matter, that really take alot of heart and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, self control, joy, and love (think the fruits of the Spirit) are rewarded, but most likely NOT immediately. It's something we have to work for. And I am excited about doing just that.

Now, if I give it my all, I don't have time to see if someone else is functioning better, as well as, or worse then I. Honestly, I have had NO desire to do that this week. And, I am working hard when those situations arise that I think could be "done better" to lift that up to the Lord, and not try to control it myself. This is new to me, but I am loving the freedom of only worrying about  MY home, and what the Lord has called ME to do. And I am so thankful that He has given me the desire of making my home a HAVEN yet again! He has rekindled that desire, and I am so pleased. Yes, it's work, but I LOVE IT!

I don't want to grow up, or do I?

Sometimes being an adult is hard. We have to make choices that are difficult, yet prove we have a level head on our shoulders. But you know what, it doesn't have to be so hard does it? Not when we weigh things out and ponder them purposefully.

I have become a big fan of initializing a pros and cons list to determine what is right for the moment. But before that, I always believe in prayer and finding clarity. I have learned to listen to my innerself, the part of me that knowingly tells me something is not right, or something is perfect.Whether it be a big thing or a little thing, God has given us a spirit within us to determine right from wrong. And Wrong doesn't have to mean sinful, it could be something like a family vacation, that is just in the wrong timing.

I had to say no yesterday to someone I love dearly, because well, the timing just wasn't right. THAT is what makes it hard. Saying NO when you know it's the right thing to do yet feeling like you let someone down. Instantly when the final decision was made, I felt a rush of peace and my mind could finally rest. Luckily this person is family, and she loves me even when she doesn't understand me.

I am finding myself in a new season daily, and I guess as this new season blooms your going to hear alot of it. It is what I am about right now, what moves me. I know when I turned 30 it was rough. I grew in every way then. It seems that when I turned 36 it has done the same. But in a different manner. 30 was painful kind of growth. I am not fighting it now as I did then. Does this really happen every so often for you? Where you find yourselves going in different direction then you were when you were a few years younger? Whatever is going on, I do accept it. And thankfully I have kept my "young at heart" attitude because I am just LOVING teaching this semester. Being pulled in so many directions at the preschool lately has truly given me a new appreciation of my classroom and each little person in it.

I have been trying to use up whatever boxed items I have in my pantry, as we are moving more to all scratch cooking. Sure it takes a few more minutes, but the rewards are priceless. I can tell a difference even in my precious children's behavior. I let them have cake, but one without the extra chemcials and junk. I let them have cookies, but not from a package or a mix. Did you know that foods without all those perservatives and chemcials that our bodies were not even created to digest to begin with, are more filling and satisfying? Yes I use REAL butter! I use WHITE flour (gluten issues). I use White sugar too. I still see a difference in their behavior. I am going to continue this path of wholesome scratch cooking and see what becomes of it. My own kids monitor their weight (just goes to show habits are environmental) and I will know if they gain too rapidly just by simply moving them into eating what they want, as long as it was a prepackaged food. My kids do not have a weight problem at all.~ Getting of my soapbox now ~

I love how I hear "I just don't have time for that kind of stuff"... as if I have more magical hours in a day. :) That even comes from a few who work part time, or not at all. It's not that you don't have time, it's that you choose to do other things with your time. Right now, I am focusing on taking care of my family in a way that will be fruitful for years to come. Not just the here and now. It's always the bigger picture in things..... and we live in a society who lives in the "now" not caring about tomorrow. Shame on you, if you do not look into your children's future and see what you are setting them up for. Yes I said it, and I am NOT ashamed!

This new season is finding me much more in the 'adult' mode then I have ever been before, and that is okay! I truly am loving being a grown up!

Hiding behind a mask

What mask are you hiding behind?

Don't say none, because we all do it. Everything looks good on the outside, and we even go as far as to tuck all the ugliness away to be unseen. Many times a day we change our mask to match the situation we are facing. Even when we look at our own reflection, we hide behind the mask.

The other day I was sharing in my day, and then had to go really quickly because I needed to "paint my face" on. Yes I meant makeup but, maybe I realized how much  more I meant by that statement then I led on.

I can go through my day and put on such a front that I even fool myself sometimes. Not for long, because thankfully God brings me back to reality, but please! I realize too often  how easy it is to put on a mask then to just deal with the situation at hand.

Today Pastor Garrett was sharing about how he keeps a bullet in his desk drawer. I have heard the story before, but every time I do, it brings tears to my eyes, and leaves my spirit broken. See he was a youth pastor for along time (several years) before moving up into an associate pastor's position in our church. Anyway, he was at youth camp and it was the last day. He had been talking the kids as a group when the Holy Spirit prompted him to approach one of the teens right then. He, for a split second second guessed it because after all, he was in the middle of something. Thankfully Garrett was obedient because he approached the young man. The teen was very popular and on the outside looked like he had it all together. After talking to him for a while, the teen gave his life to the Lord. The next week, the teen approached Garrett and handed him a bullet. He told him that he had prayed, and if God didn't do something that week at camp, he was going to come home and blow his brains out. Thankfully the Lord moved, and Garrett listened. When the teen handed the bullet to Garrett he told him that he didn't need anymore, that he now had God.

How many times do we put on a fa sod and make it look good to others (even ourselves) that we are all put together, and life is grand when it feels completely and utterly hopeless? How many times do we look at others and think that they have it all together just by the way things appear on the outside? There is so much that God can do through us if we would just be honest with others, and even more so with ourselves. There is so much power in letting go of the fake stuff just because we are afraid of being judged. I am here to tell you there is always going to be someone judging you in this world. We humans are very critical of others, as well as ourselves. If we were as critical though of our own selves, as we are others, there would be far less hurting going on. Why? Because I can tell you first hand I have enough to be critical over in my life, that I no longer have time to focus on you, or her, or that one over there.

So, on this first Sunday in March, I am announcing to the entire world that I am taking off my mask forever. I challenge each of you to consider to do the same. It's hard. It's painful. But I am ready to be completely FREE to be what God has created me to be and I can't do that until I allow myself to be completely genuine with myself and others. I can't fool God, neither can you. Why don't we just stop trying to.

My name is Sheila. From this point forward I may share things you don't like. That is fine. If you don't like it, simply don't read it. Point blank. I am learning to love me for who I am and I am inviting you to do the same. You don't have to love, just accept me as I am. Flaws and all. And I promise, to accept you just as you are.

The perfect kind of peace

Have you ever been in agony over something that you have been praying about and you knew God's answer would come yet it felt like forever?

That has been me for the last month or so, maybe a tad longer. And the sad thing, it was NOTHING I could control! LOL I like knowing what is going to happen, and if i can make it happen I will. Yeah, I know. God is in control ~ and it is hard to let go. I truly believe that is why I find myself in situations that there is NOTHING I can do about it.

There are some possible BIG changes that I am facing in my career. I really don't want to go into details because nothing is completely finalized yet, but it was enough to make me ponder, fall into prayer, and simply just wait for God's clairty and wisdom. I am happy to say that I will continue teaching in the upcoming school year, even if the changes occur.

God has stretched me this semester, in the fact that I am balancing more at work, but have learned a greater appreciation for my time in the classroom. I know without a shadow of a doubt that teaching is definately a GIFT from God, and it is something that He himself has called me to use. I have dreams to do other things, but until those dreams align with His calling, I shall remain steadfast where I am. Many people have made me feel guilty for working out of the home, as women should be the heart of the home and hard at work at that. For me, I do those things too. My home doesn't suffer because I work out of the home (currently only 28 hours a week), yet sometimes there are a few things sacraficed. But those things, are hobbies of mine, nothing to do with the way our home functions, the way we raise our children, or even the way we handle family time. I teach in a preschool that is tucked away in a local church. It is my ministry. In my own church I am in the choir ~ and that is my other ministry. Two things I love, two things I devote alot of time to. Two things that seperate me from any other.

I had that sense of perfect peace after hearing the results of a committee meeting that dealt with our future. After hearing how another part of the change would only ensure a few things NOT change. And what seemed like a sense of dread when I first heard now runs a new and fresh excitement through me. I at peace. And my husband is at peace with whatever decision I made. You know why? He knows me. He knows that I am going to not make a decision without praying ~ not when it comes to that. In fact, I think he is proud of me. For not only accepting change, but being willing to flow with the changes.

Who are we to say NO to God? I saw a few immediately say "NO I AM NOT WILLING".... when hearing the news, without prayer. That used to be me. I am learning, evolving, and feel even more so encouraged to let go of the drivers seat and allow God to steer me in the direction He is calling me in ~ in all aspects of my life.

This weekend, I rest. Knowing that as I continue to put my faith and trust in the Lord, I shall not only be living the life that He has called me to live, but our relationship shall continue to grow. I am blessed.

Love Hurts

Love hurts! There are plenty of love songs out there to prove that true love really does hurt sometimes. I am experiencing that this weekend. Sounds like it would make for a horrible weekend doesn't it?  No way my friends! I am beyond blessed by this painful relationship! Sounds coo key you say? Let me explain!

There is someone who loves me unconditionally, and there are more times then I care to admit of times I have broken their heart. Literally grabbed it with my own two hands, and ripped it out. Often with a smirk on my face. Love hurts. I realize how many times I have poured ice cold water on this relationship, rather then allowing air to vent the flames of passion. I personally, with my own ignorance, have turned my back in this relationship. If it were me, I would have left me a long time ago. I have cheated, stolen, lied, back talked, gossiped about, disrespected, dishonored and more.

See, it began last night. When I began seeking out my lover, because I was simply at the bottom of my pit.A pit that I dug for myself, and voluntarily jumped in. But there he was. Looking down at me. Eye to eye. But instead of shame for me on his face, was nothing but a smile with his hand held out to help me up out of this pit. I realize it is time to stop playing games. It is time to stop trying to push Him away because I felt like I wasn't worthy. All that truly did was slap him in the face, and tell him that his death did nothing for me ~ and was not needed. See, I can't save myself. Neither can you. No one can.

I have turned away from my Lord out of pride and selfishness. But he is there. Waiting. Patiently. Like no love I have ever endured.

Today my kids learned a lesson about how much love hurts. We are learning that we need to make sure the things we see and listen to are pleasing to God. Yes, this means mom and dad too. It means that even though we loved a song for the background beat of it more then the words, if it is NOT pleasing to God and goes against His word, we do not need to waste time listening/watching it. They sat down with their MP3 players and took out music that I allowed them to have. I am thankful that God gave me the desire to take this step in our lives. It is NOT okay to allow my children to listen to anything that goes against what God's Word says. They don't know how to say no, unless we teach them. The world surely isn't going to teach that, and I can't expect it to fall on the shoulders of my church.

I was touched. Two of the three accepted it, with very little groans. There was some, but it was a time when we talked about how if it doesn't align with God's word, we don't need to be a part of it. Am I saying all music is bad? NOT at all. But I do believe it is our responsibilities as parents to guard our children's minds, hearts, and spirits, and if you allow your child to listen to things about how billy bob goes out partying, sleeping with so and so, or pushing drugs on the street ~ NONE of that aligns with what God has called us to be as people.One of the three children had more of a problem, but he was over it very fast. I often heard "But I LOVE that song!". When you simply ask "would God love it?" and the answer was NO, then he understood the point. Groaning stopped. The whole concept was accepted. I feel FREE!

I am thankful that God doesn't call us to compare ourselves with one another. There is NOT ONE scripture that says we have to keep up with the Joneses or do what so and so is doing! I LOVE that! I realize that I no longer "need someones permission" to live a certain way, because really it doesn't matter! God's opinion matters! It's a relief in my spirit! And I have NO DESIRE to be in any one's business on how to raise their kids, clean their house, pay their bills, etc. I just don't have the fight anymore. And why should I? What energy I wasted over the last few years.

That pit I was in, was deeper then I realized yesterday. Yes it was. This afternoon I feel exhausted in my spirit, body, and emotions. Why? Because, when you experience God, and truly allow him to move in you ~ it is alot of work. It is like I all of a sudden realized how much nonsense I have been carrying around, and when I put it down for the first time, I now see how tired it all made me. Praise the Lord! My plan for the rest of the day is to just rest in Him, finish preparing these football foods, and relax!

May you and yours have a blessed Sunday!



P.s: GO SAINTS!

The anticipation of more meaningful times

This morning, I awoke feeling lots better then I have in a few days. I can swallow again without feeling like I was going to claw my throat out. Yay! A little nasal congestion, but that is easy to deal with. I am excited about this week! That may have lots to do with it. But I am also anticipory about it too. We have a Thanksgiving feast coming up with the kids in class, though ours is in the morning, I just pray it goes smoothly. I am sure it will, they usually do. But I am anticipating a week off next week! I am anticipating how to shop for my kids this Christmas. I am anticipating lots of things, and I love it. It is a good thing.

Speaking of Christmas, My heart has been prompted to spend more time on keeping Christ in Christmas this year then all the gift giving. Don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts but that isn't the point is it? My kids know this, yet they anticipate tons because year after year I say, there isn't going to be much under the tree this year (not because of finances, but because of convictions) then I find all these 'great buys" and can't resist. Not this year. IF I spend more it will be on something that is going to nurture them in their relationship with Christ. Their gifts will be meaningful. I Have already purchased one thing a piece for them as a "filler" because well ~ they were a good deal and something the kids would like. Here on out, the things I buy will be for a purpose!

MP3's for each w/ a $10.00 gfit card: They are music lovers, and while I don't mind all types of music I DO mind the nonsence of DJ"s now a days. This way, they can listen to some of what they want ( and believe me they LOVE Toby mac as much as I do) and I still have a bit of control over what "else" they listen to.

Bibles for each: The ones they have now, they are beginning to out grow, and I want to find ones they can read, and still find the encouragement they need for this stage in their life. Along with a new bible cover!

The gifts above will be from Santa.

Kristen: I have considered a few things for this girl, who has entered the preteen stage. I am pretty sure there will be a piece of jewlery from James Avery, a gift pack from Bath and body works, and some clothing.

Holton & Charles: They are into wrestling, so they will get one "together" gift of a wrestling wring (for some action figures), 2 action figures each (WWE), and some clothes.

Those gifts will be from Mom and Dad.

Simple, plenty, meaningful. Gone are the days of just buying to buy. I no longer try to buy my children's approval. Instead we will be spending money AND time this season, making new tradtions, rekindling old ones, and enjoying the simple fact we are blessed to have one another. Gone are the days of spending to spend, and worrying about doing that AND paying bills. We will spend one weekend in December baking (hopefully a cool weather one) and creating candies for friends and neighbors. Maybe we will have a cookie bake off with some friends. I did not list the stocking stuffers above, because well, I am first not so sure we are using the same stockings ( the current ones are HUGE), or purchasing smaller but more meaningful ones. I do know that each one will either contain a Wii game, and maybe a movie. We love our Wii and it has brought us many hours (not during football season obviously) of family fun and togetherness.

Next week I am out of school, but my three are attending school on Monday and Tuesday. I plan to take them out on Wednesday (for a bit before making pies) to maybe see Planet 51 and out to lunch. Should be a good day! And.. I am not going to "hang" that over their head all week this week and into the weekend either. This is a fun thing for us to just enjoy time together!

So much to anticipate, but let us not forget to enjoy the moments we have today! Each one of them.

ETA: I may also throw in one board game for each of the children. Something that they have been wanting more of, and even though we have a good collection, can you really have too many games? Possibly a puzzle as well ~ because well those are just great skill builders, and unity building actiivty.


With Much Love,

Allowing myself to leave the switch on

(This is a lengthy blog entry. I encourage you to sit down, and enjoy the quiet music, meditate on the words, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within you. May God use these words to honor and bless Him. Ps... go grab a cup of coffee, tea, or something you enjoy that is refreshing to you.)

Allowing myself to leave the switch on

In a time of our lives, when the economy is questionable, many of us have began to seek out various ways to save money. For years it has been talked about turning off the light switch until it is needed, and then when your done turn it back off. Seems like a very wise plan and it is as long as you are talking about saving money, electricity, or perhaps even saving the environment.

However, how many times have you turned on that switch to the Power and Presence of God? You know the dril ~ you have a problem (situation) you turn the switch on, give it to God, then when the problem is solved you turn off the switch until you need it again. *Sigh* If you are honest and you are anything like me, too many times that switch is turned off and on. I too often try to handle things on my own because after all, I am a very capable woman.(Insert a giant *SNORT* here)

All the emotional turmoil I have gone through over the last few weeks, the things shared and the ones kept private, I now realize it's because I took matters into my own hands. I made a few poor choices, and in some way or another probably tarnished my testimony a bit in the eyes of friends, strangers, everyone. Realizing that I truly cannot function one iota alone without seeking the guidance of my Father in Heaven, I am awed. I am ashamed of foolishly thinking it's okay to even want to try. My desire is to live freely in the purpose God has for my life, and that means every second of it.

I will not make choices anymore; whether ti be the kind of music I listen to, as well as allow our children listen to, activities we seek out, company we keep both in real life, and online, without first seeking God's discernment and wisdom. I see my life, and there are enough holes from the blessings in which I have caused myself to miss due to arrogance and pride that it literally looks like a slice of swiss cheese.

The blessing is simple. I will choose to turn on the switch and leave it on. I am nothing without my God. I can do nothing on my own. I do not want to miss one more moment embracing ALL that God has for me.

It was an amazing feeling sitting in the sanctuary at church yesterday. I felt like I had not been there forever. It had only been 2 weeks, but it truly felt like a lifetime.  I know that not all of my readers are believers, but you can count on one thing. God is real! And above that, the love he has for us all is astounding!

I want to leave you with something that was VERY profound for me this morning. May God dwell in your presence today, and may you FEEL his presence. ~ God bless you!


Please mute music at bottom of page to view video!

What Inspires me

As I sat and pondered today what I wanted to share on the blog, a thought came to mind. (Does that suprise you? Ha!) The thought that has been swimming in my head all morning is a simple yet very profound question, and can be answered in so many different ways. The thought is this.. "What inspires you to do what you do?". Because I am not just about weightloss I don't necessarily mean in just the realm of losing weight, but every aspect of your life.

In my weight loss:
The Gag challenge was inpsired because in an online group that I was a part of I was not allowed to participate in a weightloss challenge that was presented because I had less then 20 pounds to lose. In all honesty, it made me very sad and I felt so unworthy. I know the person who presented the challenge did not see it that way, and it wasn't done to make me feel that way, but that is how I felt. I can't help that. I felt like just because I had worked so hard on my own to lose weight that I was basically being told "Tough, finish it on your own." This happened at at time when my real life support began dwindling. As I said the other day, many people in my real life want to me to be "done" losing weight though I am not honestly ready. So the inspiration behind GAG was to find the support I needed, as well as maybe give some of that support back to those who longed for it. Who needed it. It was created out of love and out of need. My inspiration is to be a support for those who just can't to seem to find it in their real lives, because well, I know how it is. It is my deepest desire to see GAG become so popular that by the end of the challenge everyone is excited about starting a new challenge in January, and the number of our challengers increase. I would love to see this become a revolution for those all around because well, it is so important to realize that we are worth taking care of. I was not taught that I was worth the effort, and so that is BIG to me. Big enough to work hard at sharing this truth with strangers, friends, and even my own husband and children. The truth that I honestly believe will help millions of people redeem their health, their relationships, their lives.

It is my goal to hit my goal weight and stay there for the rest of my life. Come what may. Not just for me, but to show others it can be done, and it is worth being done. Some days are hard, but as I continue to reflect on my jurney I am just in awe. Not of what I could do, but God has done through me. What he continues to do, the lives that are being changed, just by sharing my story and my journey. Sure, I could keep all that to myself, but .... what kind of inspiration is that? Who can be inspired by a story never told?

Parenting
I am inspired to be the type of parent that is up to date, yet holds on to yesterday's values. I can listen to the Black Eyed Peas, and still watch Leave it to Beaver all in one day. As a mom I am vivacious, and the inspiration to continue working on that, is indeed my children. They bring out the best in me. At times, some situations they have brought on have brought out the worst in me as well, but with an eye always open to see how I can improve. It is important for me to bring our children up in a Godly home. Not just for "looks" but so that they can see how to truly live a Christian lifestyle that speaks volumes without words. We go to church on a regular basis, we dont' "play" church. Our Bibles are used throughout the week, some weeks more then others.Prayer is constant, and not just when in need. It is important for me to do these things in consistency because as I was raised they just weren't. Sure we went to church, but not always on a regular basis.Sure I heard mom pray, but only at times when there was a need, never once did I hear her pray to praise God unless you count the times she found a decent parking spot. Prayer at meal times were non existent except for hoidays or if we had guests. Around our table, we pray before ever meal, and often before snacks too. It is habit, but yet we are so greatful.

Homekeeping
I could go back to when I was a kid, and say that I just didn't have those skills taught to me, but I won't. I did have some things taught,at least the cleaning and cooking part. Keeping a home is so much more then that. Making our home a haven is what inspires me when I am cleaning, cooking, decorating, and moving things around. I always want our home to represent the ones that live there, as well as be a place where when you walk in the door a large sigh of contentment can be heard for miles! One of my favorite bloggers has taught me so much about making my home a "safe haven" and not just a place to hang your hat. And another has taught me that little details to things mattter! I often find inspiration for new dinners through Taste of Home, and from reading the posts on Menu Plan Monday. I would have loved to lived in the 50's and in my own little way, I try to bring some of those traditions back into the home. Family comes first. Beyond school work, church, everything ~ family is first. (God is the head of our lives , while my husband is the head of our home, I the heart. Very traditional roles that we take very seriously. Call me old fashioned, I like it!)

In my classroom
Seeing kids learn and retain what they learn, inspires me in the classroom. As they come in the next day, and parents are telling me what they shared about the day before, I just get so excited! For three year olds to remember what they did in enough detail to share with mom and dad, that is a BIG deal! And the more I hear of it, the more it inspires me to continue and work harder at presenting new and exciting information to them in ways that can change a life. I love what I do, and because of that I am daily inpsired to do it that much harder, that much more. On days that I don't feel so inspired, seeing their little faces, and innoscent eyes, inspires me!
I am inspired to write to share my heart, because I have been inspired in the same way years ago. God has placed this desire within me, to share my life story, and all that it is involved in that for His glory, not my own.

So, how are YOU inspired?

An unconditional love

It seems when my heart needs a makeover, and a lift, God knows just how to step in and take action to make that happen like only he can. Everything that I have been going through lately, has just been step by step leading me to this weekend.

I am once again at my mother in love's beckon call for the weekend. I in no way am complaining, but instead walking in the light of unconditional love. The kind that we experience as mothers, and so many of us learn to face as our mothers age, and in my case, my mother in love. Back in the latter part of May ( Well, mother's day really ) my my mother in love was hopsitialized for bronchiadus as well as the fact that her white blood count was low. Every since then she has struggled ot build her energy back up. Her health has declined some as a result. Her parkinsons has turned into an enemy that is attacking every ounce of pride she may have.

I actually had to sit with her and feed her this evening. That was hard. I hate seeing such a strong pillar of my husbands family, be in such a weak state as she was. Let alone having to hold her glass so she can get a drink, wipe her after she potty's and even have to help with dressing. I do not mind one of those things at all, and though it sounds tedious, I love that woman with an unconditional kind of love that I haven't had in awhile. I guess because my kids are more independant and not having to do those simple things for someone else, it was just a humbling day.

More then anything, at this very moment I am in love. In love with life. In love with the simple ability to not only care for my husband, our children, myself, but ... my mother in love and husband's family as well. I am touched, not by what *I* have done, but what God is doing through me. I have no clue if my husbands family is all saved, and judging by behaviors, I think it is safe to bet it is time to get serious about being on my knees, and in their life in ways that God is calling me to.

I did emotionally eat today, but just a tad. Nothing major, nothing that will cause me to want to jump off a bridge or something ( *wink wink*) but I did make a not so good choice. In the midst of all I have learned, and done I think it is okay. I can handle it. Do you know what that means? It means I too am growing up! Yay me! Miracles do still happen in a time such as today. When you face a situation as I am, you really realize that yes.... being active in persuing a successful goal in your weightloss journey is important, but more important then that, is living! I am living. Living a very fruitful and blessed life.

Another challenging week is ending, and is ending in a way that I just never thought would happen. I never realized all the aggrivations and inconviences of the week would teach me daily about uncondtional love ~ of friends, family, even of myself. God is good! God is so good!

Tough Love

Tough love. What a hard thing to experience. On both ends!! Being on the recieving end of "tough love" is hard, so much so, that it at times may feel that you have been abandoned. Have you ever been on the recieving end? OH I have! And it hurts! It is killer sometimes. It feels like you have been left alone and that no one cares, and if your not careful it is easy to stay in that frame of mind. But.. one thing I have learned, if I would step back and realize that those who used a "tough love" approach on me, loved me more then words could express. They loved me enough to not take care of me all the time, loved me enough to help me become independant.

I am having to use some of that "tough love" in my life, this time not being on the recieving end. Let me say, it isn't any easier. *sigh* I want to be a helpful friend, and super duper kind momma, but there are times I simply just can't do it, can't be that. Ya know, even in many ways I am learning to use some "Tough love" in my own life with myself. When I have to use that "tough love" approach on people that I have come to love, it is hard because I know they are most likely thinking I am just being mean or dont' care. But the truth is, I do. I do more then I should at times. I often care more then the people I am caring for. That is just who I am. And it is hard to say "sure okay, I will fix the problem for you" because well, I am a fixer. In a wierd kinda way, it is easier for me to use the "tough love" approach on my children rather then my friends. My children often expect it, and as hard as it is, they thank me for it later on. But ... each time tough love has to be used on friends, you run a risk of losing them.

It is in this that I am also using "tough love" on myself, knowing full well that there is nothing more I can do to help if I continue to walk in a way that enabled them to stay where they are. None of us are meant to stay at what place we are right this very minute. We were created to learn, to continue learning, to grow as humans. And it is hard for me, but I am going to totaly have to step back from some very good friends of ours. Why? Tough love. Tough love on them, tough love on me. It is hard to see other families struggle, but also be on the outside looking in and knowing good well why they struggle. When you put addictions (smoking, drinking, spending money) a priority over taking care of your children and home, there is a problem. And that isn't a problem I can no longer try to help on. I have tried. Over and over. I have suggested, I have mentored, and the worst part in all that is seeing what you can openly say you KNOW is the truth just be tossed to the wayside like it never mattered.

I am not a perfect mother and wife, but I know when to stand my ground and begin working on myself to be better at these two things. I am literally heartbroken right now, knowing that there are children that *I* know personally who are not being given the least of things, let alone what they deserve. All I can do at this moment is to stand back, and pray that this family seriously begin doing some searching into their lives, and find where the struggles are. And when they find them, to actually do something about them, not just wallow in self pitty. I am praying that the Lord begin to move in their lives, in ways that He has never been able to move. And because I am a "fixer" I have to simply let go. I can't try right now. I would try to control the situation, and then nothing would be learned. Nothing learned, but that "when we have a problem, lets go to Mrs Sheila so she can fix it". I am busy fixin my own life, my own home, my own circumstances. I don't have time nor energy anymore to try to fix someone else's.

The side effect to "tough love" is lonliness. I feel like I have lost a friend. It is something I am choosing, so why is it so hard? Because this person has been around for many big milestones in my life, but I love them too much to allow things to continue as they are. I love them, and it kills me to see them struggle so much every single day, with NO break. It is times like this that God can do some major buisiness in lives such as these, that is another reason I am stepping to the side. I don't want my flesh and my emotions to hinder His work.

Have you had some "Tough love" times? What did you learn through those? I would love it if you would share either in the comments below, or simply via email.

Work Hard/ Play Hard

Work Hard ~ Play Hard
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sheila C. King

I know. It's simple right? If you work hard, you should also be able to play just as hard! I am so on that! This summer has been all about finding that balance between working hard and playing hard. I love it! But I realize not everyone has this philosophy, and I think many times that is when things just don't work out as we plan.

Lately it seems I am watching marriages crumble all around me, and each one that I see fall, makes me want to cling to my husband just that much more. Not in a nagging clinging way, but a passionate and loving way. People are hurting, lives are changed forever, and unfortunately children are affected in ways that can never be "fixed". Not all the time, but I would say at least 70 percent of all broken marriages are a direct result of not having a balance in working and playing.

Do I have a perfect marriage? NO. There is no such thing. But, my husband and I both have a strong desire to make the most of our marriage. There are times when we both feel like we are being taken for granted ~ which really is just an attitude that we have to work on. I mean he is the provider of our home, and I am the care taker. I believe in this solid ground roles in our lives, and believe that God put that desire in us for a reason. I will never doubt that. Yes, I work too, but mine isn't what his is. He supports our family, I am simply in the ministry, and we all know those in the ministry do it out of love, not a desire to get rich! My time in the classroom is something that I use to minister to the age group in which I have a calling for. Does it take me out of the home? Yes, but only when the children are out of the home. NEVER when they are. I still have plenty of time in my day to tend to our home, tend to my husbands needs, and what do you know, I even have time to take care of myself ~ spiritually, physically, mentally. I work hard. I will not lie. It takes a lot of discipline and self control but I do it. Why? Because I honestly believe if you don't work hard, you don't deserve to play hard. If your home is in disorder, you have NO RIGHT to out running the roads. If your health is not in order, you have NO RIGHT to be continually shoveling in the junk food and sitting on your bum in front of whatever time robber you choose whether it be the tv or the computer. If your home is unbalanced, and often times you have to walk around the mess just to get from room to room, you do have NO RIGHT to go and play all day, leaving the mess for someone else.

OH MY! I feel it! I know what your thinking! "what a critical and judgemental freak Mrs. Sheila must be". Ya know what? I am not trying to be. I am not saying you should never go out and enjoy yourself for the day if things aren't perfect at home. I am not talking about being perfect. Simply ~ putting priorities in order. I said I work hard and that is true, but to be honest, I work hard for nine months out of the year. When summer is here I slack up. Why? Because I need to! I spend those nine months running from home to school, to picking up kids, to helping with homework, laundry, house blessings, working out, balancing out healthy meals, not to mention the countless birthdays to plan for, holidays, family gatherings, etc. I stayed busy and yet my house, my marriage, our children stayed standing. Summer time is the time I can let go of some of those things, and embrace the fact that it is the time to play just as hard as I worked.

Do I feel guilty? Some days yes, but I still have the rule ~ if I am not done with what needs to be done, I can't play. So, I make it a point to keep things done ~ not counting BIG projects, but daily maintenance. I worked hard Saturday doing house blessings and then onto the yard work. At the end of the afternoon, I played in the pool with the kids. I was FREE! I knew that my home was "company ready" ~ not magazine ready ~ if need be, the laundry was done, the yard looked good, and dinner was planned and prepped. Having that freedom lets me play just as hard as my kids! Walking and working in that freedom, is such a homemakers dream! I am glad to have found the balance that works for me. I will also throw in there that last school year, probably because my children have grown some and don't need me every single moment of the day, I was able to find that work hard/play hard balance even during the school year.

It is getting closer and closer to the beginning of a new school year, and I realize that I am going to have to start to pull in the reigns some on my playing hard. And you know what? I am so okay with that! There are only 4 full weeks ( counting today) of Summer left. That's it. I am adding back in the gym to my daily routine starting tomorrow. Yes we will still swim some, but I need to get ready for the time when the pool comes down and that option is not there. My mind and body need to be trained again to ease up on the playing so hard, and working a bit harder. I am ready though. It is time!

Do you find that you have balance between working hard and playing hard? Do you tend to do more of one then the other?

This balance rings true in marriage too ~ if your wondering where that took place in all this. Sometimes marriage is a lot of work, a lot of daily things that tend to just flood your brain with "work". BUT... you gotta play too! Play in the sense that you must enjoy one another. Even that can be work, but really this is the part where I believe marriage is 50/50. Not in the home! LOL See the 50/50 in our home is my husband is the provider ( hey, he works outside in the hot /cold weather every single day for his family), and I am the caretaker (yes I work outside the home, but nothing LIKE him!). My husband knows in his heart and his mind that when he comes in the door, he is not going to be bombarded with a house that is in chaos and he doesn't need to worry about anything. Seeing how I am home more of the day, I take on the responsibility of cleaning our home, and cooking our meals. I couldn't in anyway in my conscious even think of asking him to do those things. Now if I worked odd hours, or I wasn't home as much as I am then yeah I would need his help, and he would be there. And in my defense where it seems like my job is not done even after 24 hours of working straight sometimes, I must say that I don't have the fear of not being provided for. Just as I have given my husband the faith in me to take care of our home and children, I have the faith in him to provide for our family's needs. Thinking back, things didn't go that smoothly until I began working on my part of the deal. Once I began doing "my share", he freely began doing his including working overtime when need be. I don't feel cheated because I know that things are okay, and the good thing is he doesn't feel cheated, because he knows that things are being taken care of here. Even on a play day!

In the last few years, I have to say my attitude toward this calling ( and it is that ladies!!), from God has improved. It is an honor for me now to do these things, and to do it with pride. Not an I am better then you pride, but a pride in which I can be proud of. I don't do it to be recognized by anyone but God. One day, I am going to face my Lord, and look him in the eyes. I want to hear the word "Well done thy good and faithful servant". I would not want to hear "How come you couldn't take care of the blessings in which I have given you?" When we step out of the natural earthly place which we can often find ourselves, and look at it with a different perspective perhaps God can then to move in our hearts and stir us in ways that we have never been able to imagine. See, I don't just do these things to say I do my share in my marriage, I do these things because I see my husband, our children, our home as a gift. A blessing! An honor! A privilege!!

Now, I am going to kindly step off of your toes, and end this on one note. I am learning more and more each day, by the grace of God, to speak blessings on those I love. Sometimes, the blessing comes in a way that is truth even if it hurts a bit. I never in my heart or mind would want to offend anyone reading this. Please know that I am just sharing what I feel God would want me to today. I have pondered this thought a lot in the last week or two. I often will call up a friend and say "Hey! Let's go do....." knowing that my "work" is done. But too many times, I realize, I enable them to maybe not get what they need to get done. Sure, I can't make that choice for anyone, or even possibly know what they may need to do, but I often feel guilty for days wondering if I am helping them or hindering them. As Christians we are to be living examples of Christ, and as Titus 2 Women, we should be encouraging those to live a more fruitful life ~ which sometimes means not being able to play for the day.

This summer has been a time of learning for me. I have begun the process of finding balance in every single part of my life, and really, I couldn't be happier! I am soon going to miss face book, and all of it's fun applications. I am soon going to honestly miss time on the computer, but I know that I must being work, and the play must be put to the side. :) Balance. Too much of one thing is never good. Too little of one thing is never good either! Now, lets go and find the motivation (Proper and Godly motivation) to balance things out a bit. You can do it! I can do it! We can do it together!

Prepping for Sunday Morning

One of my favorite things about Saturday is prepping for Sunday morning! Sunday morning is one of the most beautiful things of my week. It is hard sometimes, getting ready for worship knowing my husband is not joining me, but it doesn't hold me back.

I love taking the time to cook a good ol fashioned dinner on Saturday for my family. Tonight's will consist of Chicken fried steak (venison tonight) , mashed potatoes, corn, biscuits and salad. There is something speical to me by doing this. Usually I have already planned Sunday's meal as well, and at the very least thawed the meat to be prepped Sunday morning if need be. Clothes are prepped, bibles gathered and sitting on the coffee table in the family room. Depending on the morning, breakfast is either began, or at least thought of.

Saturday is full of yard playing, cleaning, and just plain ol houseblessing, and I for one LOVE that! Throw in a sneak peak of the Sunday funnies, and a quiet evening and you have the makings for some pretty great memories.

Like I said. The only thing that makes it not so picture perfect, is my loving husband does not attend with us. It is hard. Spiritually, and emotionally it is so hard for me to see other couples enjoy worship together and seeing the opportunity for them to grow together in the Lord. It is something I have desired for so long, and at times almost give up on ever seeing. AT one time I was so sure that God was telling me that I was not ready for that! That *I* was not ready for what will happen when that does come to play. I have a feeling my husband will be ready and moving our family in such an amazing direction, that I have to be spiritually ready and stronger.

I want it so bad, I can taste it! But I have grown weary when God has told us not to. I have grown weary of ever seeing this come to play, and then I am reminded that I need to be ready! I need to be spending more time in the word. I need to be seeking HIS face more and more in my day! I need to dig into his word and find what my heart is longing for. I know though, without a shadow of doubt, that until my dh is by my side at church, God himself will be there. He will fill that void in my heart! And I have to accept that!

It is a lonely thing though. Is anyone else out there in the same predicament I am? If so, how do you deal?