Motivation for your Monday: What are YOU chasing after?

Yes. This post is more of a 'brain dump' for me, but perhaps it can be a kick in the rump for someone else who may need one.

First I must apologize before I just unload. Many of you have told me that I inspire you some way to chase after your dreams. While I want to say thank you for letting me know I must insert this disclaimer. If I have led any of you away from trusting fully in God and HIS plan for you by encouraging you to chase your dreams, please accept my deepest most heart felt apology. Even in all my posts *I* was missing out myself on that truth. See, I began chasing my dream of writing and my focus got off track. I won't make excuses, and I won't lay blame on anyone but myself but it is very important to me to know that I have not led anyone away from God and HIS truth and if I have to try to make it right.

God should be our FIRST priority all the time! Not just part of the time. Not just for a few hours a week. ALL the time! Here is a scripture that is just burning deep inside this morning.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

But you cant' just start and stop there. There was more around this scripture that helps to drill home the fact that *IF* we delight in the Lord *HE* will give us the desires of our heart. It's a PROMISE but that promise comes with some work for us to do as well.

1 Do not fret because of those who are evil

or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,

like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Take delight in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,

your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the Lord

and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when people succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:1-4

When we put all of our trust in God, dwell in His presence, seek His face He is going to in turn give back! Now if you have evil in your desires or wrong motives, He may choose to protect  you from the consequence of that or use it as a lesson to show you that there is indeed some "house cleaning" that needs to be done in your heart. This is what has happened to me. He simply blocked the current desire and this morning as I started writing this blog post to show me that my motives wasn't as good as I thought they were. See, *I* would love to stay home and write, but I know that in fact this isn't the time. I am loving teaching, and He keeps showing me that season in my life is not as done as I thought it would be. I know that all of our needs, wants, and desires are met every single day when we put our trust in Him. When we try to do things on our own, it never fails that there is stress, worry, and indeed frustration. Does this mean that I give up writing? Well, no of course not. But it does mean that I have to be very careful in HOW I go about it. Blogging is always a good place to be, for He continues to bless that area of my time. 

I got wrapped up in a few "leaders" who promote running and chasing after your dreams. I began to listen to them more than one who may just lead me to having a pure heart before God. I allowed myself to be swept up in the fury of "doing it my way" and trying to make it happen in my time. Yes, I have always dreamed of being a writer and that will most likely continue to burn deep within me until the day I die. God knows this. HE put that desire in me. BUT .... yes it comes with a but. But if I am "selling myself out" to reach that dream ..... it's not okay. 

34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? 37 Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Mark 8:34-37

God whispered this scripture to me last week. I took heed for a few days but returned to the ways of the world chasing and seeking my way, my dream, and losing my rock in God Almighty. I was chasing after gaining the whole world  and a part of me was in some ways forfeiting my soul for the gain of approval, the greed of money and success, and for vain conceit. I am publically sharing these sins with you but I am also publical repenting. How foolish of me to think that I could do anything without God's leading and help! How foolish of me to believe that I could chase the world and still call myself a believer. The two do NOT go hand in  hand and we have to be careful to think that they do. WE MUST be diligent in protecting our hearts, our minds, and yes our souls.

Right now... my focus is on returning to Him completely and wholeheartedly. Again I do ask you to forgive me if I have led you away from following the One True God Almighty and trusting yourself more than you should have. I am foolish, and very saddened that I allowed my mind and heart to be compromised. I am heart broken that I allowed my salvation to be compromised. You may not believe that but Jesus said "go and sin no more"  (John 8:11) yet knowing that, I still did it "My way" and that is just pure rebellion on my part. It's ugly and there is nothing beautiful about a rebellious heart. 

As I start this week, I start it very sober, mindful, and with a deep desire to seek His face in all that I do, in every situation around me, and to not lead others astray by my foolishness.