The Relationship Killer

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The Relationship Killer

Stress! Yep you read it right ~ stress is one of the most hidden and disguised relationship killers known to man. I am not being dramatic either. As women one of our biggest responsibilities in our homes, and the relationship with our husbands is to be the temperature control. Just like the temperature gauges in our homes to keep our homes that right temperature whether It be for Winter or Summer (or any season in between), it is up to us to make sure the environment in our home (and within that relationship) is set at just the right temp to be cozy and inviting.

I know … you’re thinking to yourself “Why do I have to be the one to do that?” but in all honesty that is how we are created. We are more complex, and for the most part more intuitive to the environment around us. I can walk in and know something is not right even if it is just my husband having a rough day at work ~ I know something is off kilter. Since we have been married for twenty years, he is getting much better at this too.

Now while I am talking from some experience, I am not perfect at this! Sometimes I get tired of being the temperature control and quite honestly, sometimes because of my lack of desire to do that ~ we get too hot or too cold both of which are not inviting, becoming, nor conducive to growth and compatibility.

A lot of times, I get busy. Too busy and if I am not careful for keeping a good solid healthy balance I can often be left feeling overwhelmed, unsatisfied, and well … down right crabby and hard to be around. Thing is when I am crabby I also get very quiet. This week is a GREAT example of that. With the start to new school year for me, the last week of summer for my teens, lots of late practices for the girl for the drill team, football meetings and gear pick up for the twins, life is busy this week! Busier than normal. At least when school starts for them and we get into a new normal for us, there will only be a few late night practices, a couple of football games, a week and we will find a new rhythm. This is more especially for me than anyone else because see…. I set the temperature!

If I am having a cow because I have to go to both the Middle School and the High School every single day I am only setting the tone of my children feeling like I am not supporting them (which I do completely), and making them feel bad for being talented! I could also be guilty of sadly making my husband feel incompetent for not helping out ~ though I would feel terrible having someone else do that running for me. Those times have become special for me because I know that my children are no longer little and we only have a few more years of that daily toting back and forth. And I would hate for my children to not be involved in any extracurricular activities because let’s face it… it’s good for them, and it’s good on their college applications.

Okay, I took a little detour there but in reality life throws many detours our way. Distractions if you will. See, no matter if you have children or not, if they are babies or teen agers or heck even grown out of the house every single “distraction” can be a stress magnet for your relationship.

The best thing I can tell you ~ to keep that gauge set at a comfortable level is to always keep your marriage a priority. That is the one earthly relationship that should always take first priority ~ yes even over your children. I know this is NOT a common day practice but … have you seen the divorce rate lately? It’s over 50%! When my husband knows he takes priority …. I think he understands through the busy times of my life. Being a teacher, the start of a new year Is extremely busy on its own ~ let alone when you add a writing career, speaking career, motherhood, keeping a house clean, etc. I am not perfect at it. In fact I just sent him a message in the middle of writing this post (since I am sitting waiting for the girl to come out of drill practice and just finished up a football meeting) to tell him I miss him, and I don’t want him to feel like I am pushing him to the side because that is not my intention at all.

Christmas used to be another time that was nuts but since the kids are getting older it has calmed down a whole lot.

Anytime our finances seem strapped either from that run of crazy appliances, a break of no pay (I teach for a private school) in the summer (spring break, Christmas break, etc) or just plain life, there seems to be some stress that comes about.

BUT if my temperature gauge is carefully monitored, more times than not we can overcome these times of year with just a hiccup or two before I realize what is happening. I could sit here and play the blame game and tell him he is being insensitive, but I can tell you that it doesn’t solve ANY problems and in reality makes them worse.

I am old fashioned in my thinking. After God, my husband is my top priority and I often have to remind myself of that especially during those stressful times. I can’t tell you that it will flip the switch in your relationship if that is not the same for you. Here are a few suggestions from me.

1. Make your husband a daily HIGH priority. Good times, or bad.

2. Understand that he might have a bad day that actually has nothing to do with you and the best thing you can do is to not pressure him to get him to talk about, but to let him go through the process until he is ready to talk about it. (For the longest I would assume that if he had a bad day or was in a bad mood it had everything to do with me. Talk about being narsistiic! GEESH! The world does NOT revolve around me!)

3. Take time to cater to your husband. As wives we often think of all that we have to do and how can it possibly add up to what the men do? Well, in all honesty, the mortgage of our home really rests on my husband’s shoulder. It is the men’s job to provide and take care of while the women are nurturers. We take care of the small things ~ and I have a whole other lesson for you on small things and how big they really are! My husband has a huge responsibility and I need to give him more credit than I do.

4. Take it easy on yourself. You are human! Every step you make to walk towards a more peaceful marriage, one that is growing and enhancing one another the better off you are. Those steps will NOT always be easy, sometimes they will be very steep.

5. Let me know if this helped! If it did please leave a comment below or if you need more, please do not hesitate to ask!

Remember relationships aren’t easy. They take work, passion, foreplay, and well… energy. Breath deep, push forward!

   

Family Matters Friday: A lecture for wives of today

One thing about being in the social media hub you see a lot of things. Some that you wish you didn't. It's kind of like what they say about a train wreck ~ you can't help but look as you go by. Sadly, there is something happening online among women that I just cannot look at anymore. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a woman too but I truly treasure my husband.

Before I begin, let me say this. My marriage hasn't always been what it is today and I understand that we are all at a different place in our relationships. With that said, I also will remind you as well as myself that how we spend our time, attention, focus will determine what is important to us and how we respect or not our spouse.

My husband is NOT someone that I will belittle or make fun of. Sure, we have moments that are funny to bring up (and I do those in private not publicly or on social media) but the kind of "make fun of" that I am talking about is humiliating him either in public or private.

I am so sick of seeing wives think it is funny to humiliate their husband online. They are usually the first to then want to blast their husbands when they get into an argument or their feelings got hurt for whatever reason. I have had to block myself from seeing posts from people I happen to like because I can't take their comments or the way they talk to their husbands online. I have been married for twenty years, so I have some history behind when I say that if they continue to do that they might not have a relationship later down the road.

If you want to treat your husband like they are less than you, that you are smarter than them, and then wonder why they leave you or cheat on you, maybe you will remember this warning. If your husband wanted a mother ... he wouldn't have gotten married to you.

I ask that you challenge yourself to lift your husband up and give him more credit than you ever thought you should. Treat him like he is a King, as most of us they are the big bread winners in our home. I would not be able to do what I do if my husband did not do what he does. Yes I work outside the home and contribute, and yes I do the care-taking of our home but I do it to support him and to encourage him. I want our home to be a safe haven for all ~ not a battle ground. I cherish him, value him and am very blessed to say he is my husband. In return, he takes care of me and the family, treats us with kindness and lots of care. He WANTS to be with us and if he could choose to work overtime or his family time I can almost guarantee every single time he will choose family time. Yes, he does work a lot of hours every so often but it is for our family ~ not because work is his safe haven.

If you have a lot of conflict in your relationship with your husband ~ start paying attention to how you speak to and about your husband both privately and publicly (including online). You might just see that if you change the way you speak to him, you may change your whole relationship!

Understand that your children are watching, listening and learning. If your child spoke to your husband in the way you do would they get in trouble? Would they be disrespectful? All that is happening is your setting the tone for not only your relationship with your spouse, but your children's relationship with them as well.

Now this goes both ways I know. But I can't honestly speak too much to the men ~ because my word may not encourage them in the same way. I promise... give it two weeks. Change the way you interact with your husband and watch how it impacts your marriage!

Tantalizing Tuesday: Love can be HOT! + a Crawfish recipe

This summer it seems like a lot of baggage is getting throw to the curb! Well, not really because our HOA would NOT approve that! HAHA!

Let's just say God has been opening my eyes on a lot of areas that need some tweaking in my own life. One of them being the intimate life between my husband and I. Now, I am not going to get graphic or too detailed because ya know, everything I do I want to do for the Glory of God ~ and I need to choose my words carefully. However, this post is going to be speaking to married couples ~ specifically wives so if you are not married, then please just scroll down quickly until you see a picture! After that picture is a recipe for a yummy hot appetizer (or the beginnings of a great dinner) that is a man pleaser, crowd pleaser and just all around yummy deliciousness!

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Now, onto the TMI part! This will be quick, because well when you choose your words carefully sometimes they need to be few. (Which is sometimes very difficult for me, if you haven't already figured that out!) Anyway, the husband and I have been married for 19 years. In those years have come seasons of all kinds in our intimate ways of loving one another. Not until just a few days ago have I realized ... how IMPORTANT it is for us as wives, as ladies, to be the woman our husband craves. Not just sexually, but visually, emotionally, and provisionally. I have worked very hard on the emotionally, provisionally, and some on the visually ~ but I neglected the sexually for along time. Now, don't get me wrong .... he got his fill.... but it wasn't what he wanted ~ what he craved. Do you know how liberating it is to KNOW that you can please  your husband?! I was being a shrewd, because in my head I grew up in a house where sex was wrong. I know that the intent behind it from a parent perspective was to keep me from premarital sex and especially from becoming a teenage mother. Although, sadly I did have sex before marrige and gave myself to someone who ultimately in the end broke my heart and stole the one pure gift that I should have saved for the man who would give his life to me. Somehow, God has been working on my heart ~ and the hubby's together to produce a different kind of environment for our kids. One of LOVING your spouse openly, and honestly. IT started out as a great way to "gross" out our kids, but I see how God is using it in preparing their hearts for marriage when it's time. I talk very openly with them, their friends, and even yes my husband about how sad, ashamed, and guilty I felt by NOT waiting for my wedding night ~ for my husband to give a pure body to. I won't lie to them ~ and not tell them them the downside of not waiting. But now I see that God has also provided a pallet ~ for them to see that when you married, and in love even 19 years later .... sex and affection towards one another is a good thing! It is VITAL! Please know that we do NOT have sex in front of our kids, nor get graphic in front of them. But ... we do kiss, and show physical affection in front of them. Do you know what your husband craves sexually? Maybe it's time to find out! Now.. onto that recipe!

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Ingredients
1 package of frozen crawfish tails (defrosted)
1/2 cup of butter
1 small green bell pepper diced
1 whole bunch of green onions chopped
3 green Serrano peppers diced (fresh ~ seeds optional)
2 cloves of garlic minced
1 4 oz jar of pimentos
1 8oz cream cheese softened
3 tsp cajun seasoning
1/2 tsp chipolte chili seasoning (optional)

Directions
In a large saute pan, melt butter and saute bell pepper, green onions, and diced Serrano peppers for about five to eight minutes until almost tender. Add minced garlic and continue cooking ~ stirring often. After about 3 more minutes add in crawfish tails, and pimentos. Cook for about 8 minutes or so on medium low. Add in cream cheese and seasonings, stir until cream cheese is melted and combined with remaining ingredients.  Serve with garlic toast croustini or club crackers.

*Optional uses*
1. Add a 1/2 to 3/4 cups of cream or half and half and allow to simmer for a few minutes. Pour over pasta (elbow, rotini, or spaghetti) or rice! Very much like an ettoufee.

2. Stuff inside of french bread loaf, wrap in foil tightly, bake in a 375* oven for about 20 minutes and slice into small portion sizes. AMAZING!

3. (Husband's idea) 1/2 a bunch of fresh jalepanos, remove seeds and stuff with this mixture. Bake in a 375* oven until peppers are tender (about 20 to 30 minutes). Gives a different variation on Jalapeno poppers.

4. (Haven't tried this but will!) Instead of your traditionall stuffed peppers ~ why not mix this mixture with 1 cup cooked rice.Stuff into a raw bell pepper ( or the little sweet bell peppers) and bake in oven until peppers are tender.

The ideas are endless! So, spice it up!

Father's Day & Blueberry Crumble Pie

Father's Day this year was spent focusing on two important Father's in my life. Our Heavenly Father, and my husband ~ the Father of our children. At first I kind of felt guilty ~ though I did make a phone call to my Step Daddy, I realized that right now ... this year, this is where I am in my life. I can't feel guilt over that! As far as father figures go in my own life, I have some issues I am working through ~ and I don't want to drag anyone into that baggage right now.

God Almighty is THE FATHER of life! I am amazed at how commercial our society has gotten where they think that certain days should be set aside to honor someone/something that often should be done on a regular basis. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Veteran's Day...... these should be honored regularly. The ones that were created to honor God ~ have been turned into HUGE commercial events ~ Christmas and Easter. The older I get, and the more my relationship with God grows I feel almost bitter towards these things. Why? Because even believers get wrapped up in a skewed view of what is really important.

My Husband is the father to our children ~ who are beautiful, healthy, and happy. We are not your common family, and the way we do things in our home is not what apparently goes on everywhere. But guess what! I like it! I love the people our children are growing into. When they get older, and I am able to transfer that mothering over to friendship ~ these are people I would LOVE to hang out with all the time! Even on their "bad" days ~ I LOVE them! They have their father's spunk, and they love life! The bible gives great wisdom when it says to "leave and cleave" upon marriage. My main focus on Father's day ~ while I am grateful for the man who helped to give me life and his DNA, I am also grateful for the man who stepped in to raise me when he didn't have to. But more than that ~ I am so blessed to watch the man I married, turn into this GREAT Father ~ who has given so much not only to me, but to our babies (who are no longer babies). As a wife THAT is my main focus .... because ya know, society hasn't given us a "Husband" day. :)

On this great day, I prepared a yummy dessert. Before I share the recipe I want to give you some suggestions. PLEASE serve this Vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. I know it sounds crazy but it will help to cut the sweetness of the pie. *Think more along the lines of a cobbler and how vanilla ice cream tastes so great with that!*

1. Pie Crust ready to prebake
2. Pie weights (beans) placed into pie crust to help bake even and correctly.
3. Ingredients for crumble topping.
4. Blueberry Filling
5. Filling into crust without crumble topping
6. Finished baked pie

Ingredients For Crumble
3/4 Cups of Flour
1/3 Cup of Brown Sugar
1/3 Cup of Granulated Sugar
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/8 tsp Salt
1 stick of cold butter cut into peices

Ingredients For Filling
1 bag of Frozen blueberries (or 5 Cups of fresh berries)
1/3 cup of Brown Sugar
1 tsp of Cinnamon
4 TBS of flour
2 TBS lemon juice

Extra
1 unbaked pie crust
1 TBS Flour
1 TBS Sugar

Directions
Place Pie Crust into pie pan and pinch edges. Place in fridge to get really cold. (This helps get a flakier crust) Preheat oven to 400* and line inside of pie crust with foil or parchment paper and insert pie weights. (I personally use dried pinto beans. I reuse these just for this purpose. Once they cool I store them in a sandwich bag in my cabinet with my recipe books and pie plates.) Bake crust for 15 minutes, then reduce oven to 350*. Take out pie crust, allow to cool for just a couple of minutes to ensure that the pie weights cool off before you remove them, and that the crust settles well. Place crust back into oven for 5 minutes to "dry" it out. Remove crust and prepare the crumble topping and filling.

Crumble Topping
Using a pasty cutter or two butter knives, combine all crumble ingredients in a medium size bowl until you achieve good pea sized mixture. I like to leave a few butter chunks whole because it just makes the topping so yummy and good!

Filling
Mix all filling ingredients together until well combined!

Remaining directions
In pie crust, sprinkle the 1 TBS flour and 1 TBS Sugar on the bottom. Spread together well. Top with Filling, and then finish with crumble topping. In a 375* oven bake pie for 50 to 60 minutes until top is browned and filling is bubbly. Take out and allow to come to room temp before serving. For being a fruit pie ~ this pie cuts BEAUTIFULLY!

A Marriage Moment: Not a place for Selfishness

One of the most selfless relationships in our lives should be our marriage. I can't honestly say that I believed this from the beginning. Sure, I loved my husband but I thought we "owed" each other something.  We "owed" one another our attention, devotion, and well.... I "deserved" more. It probably wasn't until the last few years that God really began working on me deeply. I LOVE my husband, and am ever grateful he has stuck with me for this long. I used to be really moody, and judgmental. Wow. How sad that we spent so much of our early marriage years like babies.... looking out for more of ourselves, then one another. 

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: ⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; ⁷ rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Philippians 2:1-8 NIV

I am so thankful that God has been alive and working in my heart and my life every day. I am not perfect, nor am I close. But ... I am NOT where I once was! I am here, not there! (Sorry ~ the Dr. Suess influence never leaves!) I am more interested in learning more about my husband, and his interests. It's not so important to me to find MY time for MY interests. Let's take this past December. Do you know what I did the weekend before Christmas? It had nothing to do with Christmas prep, wrapping gifts, baking, holiday parties. It had everything to do with my husband. I went to the hunting lease with him! I LOVED it! He always goes to a cattle ranch here in Texas, and every other time I went I stayed home with the kids. This time? The kids went to grandma's and I went with the husband! Guess what!? I realized my husband is pretty amazing! I learned new things about him, and I can say that on the 5 1/2 hour ride up there and the 5 1/2 hour ride back down was fun! If he would have asked me to go three years ago i would have sadly laughed in his face. To think of how many amazing trips I have missed out on ~ is so heartbreaking to me yet it fuels me to push forward and to seek out those opportunities to get more!

Jesus did not seek out equality with God ~ that is a LOT in it's own to teach us! Women, wives, we must stop looking for equality in our marriages with our husbands! (Woah! I can hear a pin drop!) I know that I just cleared a room full of women who were raised with feministic values. I was born in the early 70's and I grew up hearing (from the world) women "rule". It always made me cringe, and still does. Why? I WANT my husband to be over me ~ his protection and leadership are always welcomed. Yes, I am a strong woman, but I am also a  God fearing woman. I know that God has called me to be the help-meet to my husband not the other way around. I know that he created Joel THEN decided what mate would "complete" him but I never have and never will say that I am good on my own. I LOVE being the wife that I am ~ because I can humbly say that my husband is the leader in our home ~ in all areas!

Was surprised by Scripture!

Instructions for Christian Households

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers,[c] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. 

 Colossians 3:18-25 NIV

I have read these words before, many times actually. But as I read them again yesterday something about the way it was written really stood out and was very profound for me and I don't think it is to be taken lightly. Because I truly believe that every word of the Bible is truth, and the way it was written is purposeful ~ not by accident!. So much so, that I can't hold it in I have to share!!

While the husband is the head of the house, and YES I do believe that,  you would think that the scriptures would point out the duties of the husband first. But it wasn't. Look up there again! It starts with us wives submitting to our husbands. THEN on to the husband loving their wives and not being harsh. I believe it is like that for a reason. Well several actually but our husbands cannot love us without being harsh if we do not submit to them and respect them. If we take on responsibilities that assume we do not trust our husband's judgement, or such we are not submitting to him. If we talk down to them, even in private with our closest friends, we are not submitting to them.

Looking up there it is so clear to me that one thing leads to another. If the wife submits to the husband, he then loves her without being harsh. If the wife submits to the husband, the husband loves his wife without being harsh, the children then will obey their parents. If the wife submits to the husband, the husband loves the wife, the children obey, then the husband will not discourage the children. Amazing right?! Just another piece of the puzzle I think to finding a Christ like home atmosphere without pulling all kinds of tricks out of the hat, or "manipulating" things to happen. If we would just dig in the Word, ask God to lead us to scriptures that will lead us to Holy living ~ we would be so much happier in our day to day lives!

One Big Busy Life

Good and busy times

Good morning my lovlies! It is Saturday, and I was up (once again) before the roosters! Not that we have a rooster, but there are a few in the neighborhood. And YES! I live in the city! LOL ~ Only in Texas would this be "normal". LOL!

I have been waking up feeling very blessed lately, and that is a good thing. Too often as wives and mothers, we can allow ourselves to become burdened with the everyday life, and then we become very difficult to live with.

My dear darling has been working almost two weeks straight, and I am so glad the is off today and tomorrow to recover a bit. Overtime is nice, don't get me wrong. BUT... sometimes it feels like a burden. It often means Dad is away from the home from way before dawn to after dusk, and on the weekends. Our home functions BEST when both of us are here in the evenings. The kids are better behaved, and they have alot mroe respect when both of us are here together. Glad they are back on track, at least for this weekend!

Do you remember how we spent a lot of our summer vacation last year?

I spent the entire day yesterday putting this bad boy back up, and getting it prepped to be filled. Because we left it out in the weather, it has some cleaning to be done, but we are expecting to be in this heavenly oasis no later then early next week. Yes, it is before Memorial day ~ but I am pretty sure that there are no "bad luck" thing gonna happen tied to it, as per putting the tree up before Thanksgiving and taking it down before the New Year. LOL. If so, too bad! It is getting pretty warm out there, and this is our summer entertainment. Next year I pray it is possible to put in an permanent above ground with a nice little sunning deck! Going from part time to full time next year will hopefully help that!

Oh, in case this shocks you, I decided NOT to wait until June 1 to retrun to my blogging. I actually had a few days off this week with an ill child, so life wasn't so overwhelming for me. This upcoming week is a busy one, with it being the last week of preschool for this school year, and then on Friday volunteering @ the kid's school helping out with "5th Grade Play Day", a tradition that we get to partake in this year. I still can't believe my daughter is going to enter into the world fo Jr. High next year. *sigh* They grow up too fast!

Speaking of growing up, the twins will be turning 8 next Saturday. On that same day is one of my sister in love's birthday as well. We are having a big ol BBQ with family (all of my inlaws) ~ and will most likely start that morning out with the other grandmother (my mom) having breakfast @ IHOP and a bit of birthday shopping. We are in the process of making plans with friends for a possible pool gathering at their house that Sunday afternoon, then Memorial Day will be here! It will be a busy weekend that is for sure! And some time in there, I promised the boys (before I knew about the family bbq) that we would try to make a wrestling cake! LOL I plan on trying my hand at that on Friday evening. (Will definately take pics).

This is my favorite time of year, followed by next favorite time of year. (Autumn). Honestly I have to admit I like all seasons, but Winter seems to be the toughest. Summer the easiest! Autumn and Spring are busy. So there ya have it! LOL

I am a bit of a strange creature!

I have come to realize how much different I am then many others I know. The things that are important to me, often go to the wayside with someone else. I can raise eyebrows faster then a flea can bite a mouse! NO kidding! Does that surprise you? If you have spent time with me here on the blog, or even in my real life then this is not something new. It may be something new to me however.

See, for years I have done things to fit in. I have said things in agreement when my heart would scream out for redemption. All for the sake of acceptance. The more I realize what is important to me, the more I am changing and quickly! The more I change, the more I realize *I* am not changing, but my perspective on myself is chanigng.

Take this weekend for example. I committed to a dinner with the choir, AND I have a family reunion to go to. I instead, will be spending one on one time with my husband. We will be reconnecting, and simply just being with one another with no interruptions that we won't allow. Making this choice, I am sure that I will be frowned upon, but this is the most important relationship on this planet (obviously under my relationship with God), and so what if this doesn't line up with someone else's plan for me.

I no longer feel the need to explain myself when I make a decision that I feel in my heart is right. I no longer feel the need to be accepted by those who should love me (family) just because well, we are family. I no longer feel the need to do things simply to make others like me, or feel accepted by anyone. My husband amazes me, and though he may not be the man some think he should be, he displays the unconditional love of Christ every single day. I love this man more as times goes on. And since we have this opportunity to share time with one another, simply just being us, I am taking it with NO regrets.

I put my relationship with my husband on the top of my priority list. Way above my career, even above my children. YES you read that right. My husband is MORE important then my children, for they are an expression of our love for one another, and eventually they will grow up and leave home. That is what we are raising them for. I do not rely on my children to fullfill me, though they do naturally. I do not put them above my husband ever. Now yes, sometimes they get sick and need more time and attention at that moment, and there are times where something is gonig on with one of them, but you (hopefully) get what I mean. Every relationship that I have seen be in trouble, split up, divorced often was the neglect of this relationship. (Not always by the bride ~ but the groom has to do his part too.) There are times my husband gets pushed to the side because his needs come at a time when I am already wrapped up in something (such as dinner, laundry, etc) but I am quickly learning none of that matters. HE matters.

Too many women in my generation ( and if I am calling you out and you get offended ~ I am simply speaking my mind) put too much emphasis on their children and spoiling their children that the husband holds NO priority in their life, and then sings the song "What about me" when it comes to the relationship with her husband. YES it is hard work. YES it takes more then you have sometimes but God did not create the women to wear the pants in the relationship. IF that is how it is, you can expect trouble. Period. I do not, and do not want to wear the pants in the family. I want my husband to fill his role that specifically gave him, and I to fill mine. I know what some of you are thinking. "What if my husband doesn't want to wear the pants?"... my answer is simple. Stop trying to wear them yourself, and he may want to give it a try.

When it comes to our children right now, they are not enrolled in a million different things. They are kids. WE allow them to be kids. Simple as that. They have time to play outside after school. They have time to simply sit and enjoy Saturday morning cartoons if they want. Our daughter is starting Jr. High next year. She will be able to handle such things as sports, and after school clubs. The boys MAY be playing citywide football in the Fall. But..... I can tell you that if they do not get a chance to be kids, these things will be taken away. My kids have an imagination, very rarely complain they are bored, and have manners. I like it like that.

So, yes you can say we are an odd family. ANd honestly, I dont' give a hill of beans!

It's not what is said: it is how you use it for Motivation!

Those of you who have been around here for a long time, know that I don't really share anything negative about my marriage. I usually keep any ill feelings just between my husband and I, but this time I truly feel led by the Lord to share a circumstance, and how I handled it. This is hard for me, because I don't like putting my husband out there in a negative light at all. And before I do share, please understand that my husband and I are passionately in love, and we are human just like you. That means we have our moments, but it is how you use those situations that can make or break you.

As you know, I have stepped up my game and have begun to take complete control again. Looking from the outside in, I realize that this probably puts my husband a bit ill at ease. Why? Because let's face it. His wife went from just pretty... to "hawt" already, and I have decided I am not done. That's right. You heard me. I called myself HOT! I am NOT being vain, just taking ownership of this new body that has been created. It started as early as yesterday morning after I had my early morning workout. When I sat down to eat breakfast before getting dressed for church, a comment was said about my food choices. (As usual.)

"Did you have a good workout?"
"Why yes I did. I loved it! I want to start working out in the mornings."
"Well, since you had a good workout, why don't you throw a biscuit on your plate and some jelly."
"No thanks. This is perfect!"
"Chicken"

LOL. Silly banter stuff that I have gotten used to and I didnt' feel threatened just humored. I was so strong yesterday morning, that I could take on the world. In the evening though, I was tiring, and I guess my defenses were down a bit. My husband had decided that he wanted a silly burger from McDonald's. Well, usually that's not a problem for me because I would order a double quarter pounder with NO bun, and no ketchup. Simple. Done. But I am working on eating as cleanly as possible. That is where my convictions lie for now. So silly me says to myself, but out loud "Maybe I will have one last set of fries" knowing I wouldn't because I had been having "one last" all week. Looking back, I think this may have triggered a negative thought into my husband's mind, because he knew I meant business when I said "last". So, as I got dressed to go get dinner, I was about to walk out the door when I hear "Your butt is saggy".

Immediatey I was crushed, offended, and very hurt. I just looked at him, and walked out the door hearing him mumble "Why do you take everything so serious?". I take things about my body very seriously. Even if he was just "kdding". I understand that his sense of humor is warped, and he grew up in a home where you teased the ones you love and the more you loved them the more you teased them. And I have gotten good about letting it rolll off my back, and throwing something back at him, but it still hurt. It stung. Here I am making all these changes in my life, and the one person I desire support from apparently doesn't realize that he burries what support he does give under comments like that.

As I walked out the door, I didnt' care what he had to say. I was done with the conversation for the moment. McDonald's is like 5 minutes from the house, by the time I got there, I was saying "THANK YOU" because he helped me not even think about those fries. I came home and made me some eggs w/ ham and cheese. I was even more determined to eat on plan, and not think twice. And I told him thanks. IN fact I told him "Thanks for being a butthole, because you made it easy for me to say no to those fries.' I couldn't help but be distant from him though for a little while. He appologized in his little way, and all was fine by bedtime.

I have to tell you ~ this was a powerful moment for me. Why? Because I didnt use food as my crutch, no way! IN fact, I did the opposite. I avoided it because of the emotions I had running through my veins. Not avoided like didn't eat, but avoided eating "comfort" foods. (Chocolate, cookies, fries, etc..) This was like I said, a powerful moment. One that I am still pondering over "How did I do that?". I didn't sleep well through the night though. I had some aches and pains in my back and hips, and just felt overall uncomfortable. Because of that, I chose not to go workout because I know that if I were to have gone, I would have only just got an injury. I am going to get a workout in today, an unconventional one, but a good one. One that lasts for hours throughout my day. And I will return to early morning workouts in the morning.

Now, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning knowing what I was going to blog about, when I saw Mrs. Beth had updated her blog, and had a similar topic going on. See, it isn't what my husband said that got me, it was how I felt about myself at that moment. How I still percieve myself from time to time. I know that I am a "Lean Mean Momma Machine" and that I can do anything that I put my mind to. But it was so nice to see that I wasn't alone. I think there are alot of women out there who are trying to make life changes, yet the ones they love just don't have a clue! If that is you, please either leave me a comment or send me an email so that I can be praying for you.

I finished the book. Believe It, Be It: How Being the Biggest Loser Won Me Back My Life I have determined that even though I checked it out from the library, that I am going to purchase a copy of this for myself. There are a lot of positive affirmations in this book. I can't recommend it enough! So, when I order this book I am going to also order Fat Chance: Losing the Weight, Gaining My Worth who was another Biggest Loser contestant. These women inspire me and it's time to allow that inspiration to move me into newer levels.

Well, it's Monday. Back to the grind at the preschool, and our regular routines here at home! Yay! I love routines. I do so well when I have one.

Being a mom is tough

Holding the reigns pretty tight!

Yes Iam. As a momma, I am holding the reigns to my children and their behavior pretty tightly. I let go a tiny bit at a time, but let me tell you ~ if they begin to step out of line, those reigns are pulled in tighter then then they were beforehand. Why? Because I KNOW that it is my responsibility to teach our children boundaires, yet an unconditional love. I love our children, more then words could ever express. But let me say something, my love is sometimes shown in a tough love kind of manner.

As a teacher I see many many parents who do not hold the reigns at all ~ and that is with 4 year olds! Yes 4! You cannot allow your children to rule your home at 4. Not even at 10. Not at 16. God did NOT make your children the ruler of your home, but the parents should be setting the tone.

When we visit out of town, there are times that our children pick up habits from other children. Do your kids do this? It seems like they see what other kids get away with at their home, and then think that it is okay to try it in ours. UGH! We have had alot of retraining going on lately. I don't really mind though because it keeps me on top of my "game". But man is it hard! I mean, I don't want to spend time we could be doing other things having to always redo something else. I dont' know... this is just a rambling post I guess.

Thank you Lord, for giving me a spirit of being a mom who is not afraid to discipline, and yet still shower my kids with love and understanding. Thank you for teaching me to hold my tongue and to be able to keep my voice level in control. Thank you Father for giving our home the spirit of calmness, and not a harshness that I have witnessed not only in my childhood, but in the homes of those I love. Continue Father, to work on my heart and giving me the quite and gentle spirit that my husband and children need. Help me to see times when I can be a mediator and not the one stirring the pot of discontentment.Above all, give me the strength and power today through YOU to make a difference in the little lives (and the big ones) that you have personally placed me in. In your service, AMEN!

A trip to the library has changed my life

I don't want to grow up, or do I?

Sometimes being an adult is hard. We have to make choices that are difficult, yet prove we have a level head on our shoulders. But you know what, it doesn't have to be so hard does it? Not when we weigh things out and ponder them purposefully.

I have become a big fan of initializing a pros and cons list to determine what is right for the moment. But before that, I always believe in prayer and finding clarity. I have learned to listen to my innerself, the part of me that knowingly tells me something is not right, or something is perfect.Whether it be a big thing or a little thing, God has given us a spirit within us to determine right from wrong. And Wrong doesn't have to mean sinful, it could be something like a family vacation, that is just in the wrong timing.

I had to say no yesterday to someone I love dearly, because well, the timing just wasn't right. THAT is what makes it hard. Saying NO when you know it's the right thing to do yet feeling like you let someone down. Instantly when the final decision was made, I felt a rush of peace and my mind could finally rest. Luckily this person is family, and she loves me even when she doesn't understand me.

I am finding myself in a new season daily, and I guess as this new season blooms your going to hear alot of it. It is what I am about right now, what moves me. I know when I turned 30 it was rough. I grew in every way then. It seems that when I turned 36 it has done the same. But in a different manner. 30 was painful kind of growth. I am not fighting it now as I did then. Does this really happen every so often for you? Where you find yourselves going in different direction then you were when you were a few years younger? Whatever is going on, I do accept it. And thankfully I have kept my "young at heart" attitude because I am just LOVING teaching this semester. Being pulled in so many directions at the preschool lately has truly given me a new appreciation of my classroom and each little person in it.

I have been trying to use up whatever boxed items I have in my pantry, as we are moving more to all scratch cooking. Sure it takes a few more minutes, but the rewards are priceless. I can tell a difference even in my precious children's behavior. I let them have cake, but one without the extra chemcials and junk. I let them have cookies, but not from a package or a mix. Did you know that foods without all those perservatives and chemcials that our bodies were not even created to digest to begin with, are more filling and satisfying? Yes I use REAL butter! I use WHITE flour (gluten issues). I use White sugar too. I still see a difference in their behavior. I am going to continue this path of wholesome scratch cooking and see what becomes of it. My own kids monitor their weight (just goes to show habits are environmental) and I will know if they gain too rapidly just by simply moving them into eating what they want, as long as it was a prepackaged food. My kids do not have a weight problem at all.~ Getting of my soapbox now ~

I love how I hear "I just don't have time for that kind of stuff"... as if I have more magical hours in a day. :) That even comes from a few who work part time, or not at all. It's not that you don't have time, it's that you choose to do other things with your time. Right now, I am focusing on taking care of my family in a way that will be fruitful for years to come. Not just the here and now. It's always the bigger picture in things..... and we live in a society who lives in the "now" not caring about tomorrow. Shame on you, if you do not look into your children's future and see what you are setting them up for. Yes I said it, and I am NOT ashamed!

This new season is finding me much more in the 'adult' mode then I have ever been before, and that is okay! I truly am loving being a grown up!

Weekly Wrap Up

Ahhhh... do you hear that? QUIET! I have waited all week for this moment! LOL So, now that I have a few moments to myself ( Praise the Lord that my husband is naping, kids at school), I thought I would do a wrap up blog post sharing some things that have "hit me" this week. This will probably be all over the place, so go get you a cup of your favorite beverage that you like to drink , me I will just sit here and wait. Just finished some lemonade, so I am good!

*Parenting*
Things are going well with the kids. I thought I would post a few new pics, because it well... has been a while!

The boys LOVE to have pics taken!











Kristen is at that funny quirky stage with pics!







Report cards come home today, and because of modern technology I have a sneak peak! LOL The twins who are in 2nd grade have straight A's, while Kristen who is in 5th grade has all A's and B's. I am very proud of all three of them, because they have worked hard this past six weeks! They have learned so much, and are cooperating once again with an afternoon schedule that is working for us all. They asked me this morning if we were going to church this Sunday. It does this momma's heart some good when I realize that not only did *I* miss it, but they did too. It truly does make a difference in our daily lives, by attending church on Sunday. Now, don't get me wrong. We don't just "go to church", we live church daily. I think in the next few weeks I will share of how our Christian life, really became just that and steps we are doing to increase that growth as we are all growing. God is sooo good in this, and I can't wait to be able to go into more details!

*Preschool*
Preschool is going wonderfully. I LOVE MY CLASS! Every year I say that, every year I mean it! Each new school year, new group of students, are such a gift and a blessing! They just teach you so much about yourself, about God and his wonderful gifts, and about one another. Children can truly teach you more then you can imagine if you allow yourself to think outside the stuffy box that you live in.

*Marriage*

My dear loved one, and I are doing well. I am so thankful that Joel loves me undconditionally, and has dealt with me during all these transitions. I know it was difficult on him, as it is me, and I feel bad that he has had to even deal with any of the sillyness, over obsessiveness, too much wishy washyness, and above that he understanding about me having to take some time out for myself. We are hopelessly devoted, in the good times and the bad. This time of year though, brings LOTS of good times, but as with any household and an increasingly crazy economy, some tough times too. We (especially ME) is determined to get through the next three months with a more positive attitude about clinching our budgets, and not going overboard for Christmas.

*Weightloss*
This week has been a monumental week for me. Not because the scale had anything to do with it. But because I have come to a realization that I wasn't sure I could face. Do you want to know what that is? That I am in a sweet spot. I think that is one reason I have been having the little deviations on weekends. And do you want to know something? I am feeling really good. There are no "binges" just things I don't eat all week long. I am so okay with that. I almost want to call "goal" but .... I don't think I am quite ready to do that. But to know that If I never lost another ounce I would be happy ~ is a great feeling. THAT is way different then last week. Way different then any time in my adult life.  I have returned to the gym ~ not out of "needing" to drop the weight, or feeling like I HAD to go, but because I wanted to go. THAT is progress people! I do not eat the way I eat (at least 5 days a week) because I HAVE to, but because I want to. I do not share my journey because I feel I NEED to, but because I feel led to.

I realize it is hard for alot of my readers to comprehend some of the things I have been through, or have you relate to where I have been because I have not always shared the hard times. There were some, but this journey has been life altering and worth every  minute. In the GAG challenge, I get so discouraged to see others just give up. But what can you do? I do best when I focus on ME and MY weightloss, rather then worrying about trying to motivate others, and get them into their own. I give up trying. I wont' go out of my way to only have my efforts squashed and told "it's too hard". (I am talking about people in my real life ~  not online). All I have to say about that is this: "If it was easy, there would not be sooo many people who are obese ~ and continually killing themselves with food."

A Burning Within

I woke up this morning with this sense of urgency. An urgency to get back to basics. This has been in me for the last few weeks, but today it is strong! For so long I saught out blogs and articles on losing weight, fitness tips, and altering the family table to be more non processed. Even with all the excitement of the upcoming callenge, my focus is naturaly taking a different course of action. Sure, I will always be on that journey but today, today I must seek out what is burning within me.

This morning as I sat on the computer during my quiet morning time (read as husband at work, children sleeping), I realized I needed to begin seeking out what was burning within me. That is my home! My home, the way I tend to it, and all the blessings inside especially my husband and children. I walked, no ran to one of my favorite bloggers sites and was blessed beyond belief that God had not only one word for me there, but many! This new blog entry just sparked a light in me that I was longing for! I realized it is the little homemaking details I haven't done lately, the special little touches I used to, that is making the difference. Of course, getting into a solid routine again once school starts (less then 2 weeks mind you) will help tremendously, but I need to start now!

I have a confession. I am addicted to facebook! LOL So, of course that is going to get fixed too! :) And today. So if you follow me on facebook, please know that I am not allowing myself to get on it unless their is truly free time, and for now I am taking drastic measures and will not be on even when I *think* there is free time. I have lots to prepare for school, and last minute celebrations with my kids. I will not be playing any of those silly games, but I will post to update family and friends of new blessings I encounter along the way.


I want a canner system for my home. I think I am going to put that on my gift list. We also plan on creating a garden, for the spring, but I may look into what I can grow here in the winter and work on that as well. Life is so precious, to be giving it way to time robbers. If you remember, the other day I posted on no more excuses. One of them was getting rid of timerobbers,and I may have to take drastic measures to do that. I dont' want to, but I need to. Blogging is my form of "therapy" so it stays but all the others must go for now. I can't focus on anything more then my home, and preparing for the school year. Once school begins it is sewing and preparing for the Holidays. I am going to work hard on bringing a touch of "old fashioned" to our home for Christmas. I mean handmade everything, including some gifts. I want to pour ME into the gifts we give not what was on sale at Walmart, a good deal at the Mall, or even what I got FREE from Khols. Life is too precious to say "I don't have time for that" when we simply give our time away online, gossiping on the phone, and giving ourselves away to things that do not matter, things that do not hold any true substance.

So, with that I will leave you to ponder your own thoughts. Please stop by from time to time, I will still blog, but know that as I pour myself into my home, I may be absent from time to time. For those of you who originally followed my blog because of my weightloss journey you will hear an update here and there, but honestly right now I am not focusing on that. I am doing what the experts have said for years and years ~ eating right and exercising. Who knew!? I have no magical tips, I have no insight that can honestly help at this point. During Gag I will be sharing more so if you want just hop on over, book mark it and from Sept 1 to Dec 22 you can keep up with my weightloss there. For now, for oneprettylittlebox, the focus is switching gears. I feel it. Don't you? I feel it! There is a need in our lives, that we have got to get a grasp on. Yesterday I felt so uplifted and felt like I was doing something with purpose when I worked in the kitchen. Simply cooking dinner, cleaning up from it, and tending to the birthday girl. THAT is my purpose! All the other that you get to experience through this blog, is extra! Bonus points! But the funny thing is I feel a pull in our lives, in society. A NEED, and urgent need at that, to become the godly women that we are called to be. We are not called to bring caos into our homes, we are not called to bring disheevel, and an uproar in our homes, in our families. We are to be the HEART of the home, and if that heart is broken, so is the home. It's time for surgery ladies! We need to have an open heart surgery and allow God to fill us with all that He can, so that we can fullfill our purpose in life! ... Oh, I feel it! I am getting my preach on! LOL I will be praying for you, yes you. If your reading this, I have prayed for you to have this same longing to bring love back into our homes, and in a way that has never been before. A kind of love that is everlasting, unconditional, forgiving, mercyful, kind, and overwhelming!

Be blessed!

A breakthrough like no other

Though I cant' share all the details of my breakthrough as I would like to at this point, but I would like for you to reference a date. July 21, 22, and 23. I have gotten used to blogging daily, and some of you have said you have gotten used to that as well. Those three days I will be out of town enjoying some amazing fellowship with my co teachers at a yearly teaching convention we attend out of the area. I will NOT have access to blogger, face book, or much else unless I use my phone. I don't like blogging from my phone, so I have planned to share my latest challenge with you that I am currently dealing in. So on those days note that there will be some blog posts ( all written ahead of time) that will explain part of my breakthrough.

BUT... it is only part. I am now in a clear mind of thinking that I literally haven't had for months on end. Like since the end of December 2008. Yep six months of cloudy thinking, moody emotions, and so much more I would not like to even disclose! But today ~ BREAKTHROUGH!! I am so excited and literally walking on a cloud, beyond the number 9!

I have realized how BLESSED my dh and I are. We have three amazing kids that have hearts that are HUNGRY for God! I couldn't want anything else for them. I don't care about their grades, though they do matter. I don't care about their friends, but they do matter. What I care most about, is their heart. A heart geared towards God above all else, is something that not only will get them to live their life full of passion and purpose, but blessings will be poured out onto them forever! I realized how honored I am to be a wife to such an amazingly hard working man who only wants to love and take care of his family. THAT is truly his only motive! God has given me so many abilities to share his goodness, his love, his mercy, and his favor onto people who may never even think of giving God a second glance.

Breakthrough in relationships! I have let a few go, and by doing so, I am amazed at the friendships that He has given birth to once again! People in my life who LOVE me for all my quirks not just what they can benefit from! Friends who have been with me in High school ~ during that awkward and tough time. Friends who have I have known as long as my husband, who have watched me grow from a very selfish and flippant young lady to the woman God has created me to be today. :) I am still working on a few family relationships that really need tons of nurturing in ways that only God can do. I can't, they can't. Only Him.

Breakthrough in my health! I have had a Major breakthrough on my mental state. For six months, as I spoke of I basically walked in a tunnel, barely treading above water just to stay alive. Not one but many helped to pull me down until the suction from that painful negativity so much so I just about lost all I was, all I had worked for, all that God has given me. Why? Because of trying to please everyone and being afraid to stand up for what is right. No longer can I do that. No longer will I.

Breakthrough in my dreams and goals. I am excited. I am definitely putting it out there and telling all who are reading this, I WILL have my first manuscript for a novel written BEFORE December 31st of this year. IF you think of me during your day, please pray for clear direction, and creative genius to get across all that God wants me to! I have so many story lines I really need clarity right now. Also, please, ask me! Ask how it is going! I need someone to hold me accountable!

I am blessed, and tonight, when bedtime comes, and after I said my prayers, I will lay my head on the pillow and be forever grateful for my life.

Living, Loving, and Experiencing

Living
One thing I have desired for my life since I can remember is to literally be at a place in my life where I can just live and enjoy it. Not a ton of planning, not a ton of running around making everyone happy, yet being the happiest *I* have ever been in my entire life. I am there! What a wonderful place to be! I literally have not been where I am at emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually then where I am right NOW. I feel like I am living a wonderful fairy tale. Ya know, I have my Prince Charming, we have our own quaint little home including the backyard oasis which is keeping us entertained and active, three fantastic children who keep us young and laughing, and I couldn't be happier. My dh and I enjoyed some intimate time ( I don't mean just sexual either, so dont' go blushing on me!) one on one together, complete and utterly the most romantic and uninterrupted time to talk, to embrace one another to explore. I was just wowed! As a young couple making it in the world, raising a family, keeping a home, and all that life entails it is hard to stay connected unless we purposely set time aside now and then for one another. ON PURPOSE! I am just so in love with him, that I am overwhelmed at times.




Loving
My heart is so full this evening. It has been for a few days actually. I truly feel like life is changing before my very eyes, and in that my heart is being opened to embrace the loving relationships that I need to nurture more and more as time draws to an end each day. Relationships in my own home between my husband and I, the children and I, friends and I, etc. I am loving the little friendships that form in our choir at church. What a neat little (150 of us) we are!  Some people have made comments to me since I do go to a pretty large church (running 5,000 to 7,000 ~ not including the 1500 kids) how hard it must be to connect. My thoughts on that are if you are in a church, that is full of the presence of the Living God, and loving people it will not matter how many people are around. I truly see a neat little glimpse of Heaven each and every week. I LOVE it! I love having the time to nourish some friendships that have been neglected due to busy school schedules. What a nice treat that is!




Experiencing
For the first ime in my adult life I feel young again, and ready to embrace some new experiences. The fear that used to embrace me when I thought of trying something new is no longer there and I am just sooo very excited about each and every new thing I can do. Sure losing 70 pounds will do that to someone, but... I have to be honest and say this is more. It is more then just from the weightloss. Anyone can do that. I truly believe that God is healing me from the inside out. I have never had a healthy self esteem, or even felt worthy of much. Just yesterday the Holy Spirit shared with me that I have always been worthy of being in the presence of God. We all are. He created us to be! It is us who feel so unworthy, so hurtful to ourselves, that we choose to seperate ourselves from Him, not He who is choosing that. Weightloss doesn't do that to you, so it is so much more then that. Those close to me may tell you that I have become shallow and all I am about is losing weight, but in all honesty I have to give them that. I was focused for so long, I had to be. I had to focus on myself. But now, the way I eat, and the things I consider important in my health are truly so second nature, that it is just life! I don't have to focus so hard anymore. Sure, I have to tell myself No, but dont' we all? In eerything we do? I mean come on ~ The Bible vs your favorite tv show. Sometimes making the right decison is hard, and sometimes we don't. No more dwelling on the negative stuff. I will make the right choices in my life for the most part, and every now and then I know that I may not make the right choice but it doesn't mean it's the end! The end will come, when I am in Heaven with my Father!

My Own Little Word ~ A great place to be

This morning, I am blessed. I have an overwhelming feeling of contentment and I wouldn't trade that for anything! I wouldn't dare wish for more. As any other blog I have ever had before in my past, this one is true to be no different. It contains the whispers of my heart, the roller coaster of emotions I may go through in just one weeks time. It holds the secrets I would never feel comforatble sharing with just anyone. It sometimes even holds things that I am too cowardly to share one on one. It is me.

Today is no different! I have lots to share, and am blessed with the time (and coffee) to share every single feeling and thought with you that I feel led to share. So, go getcha a cup of tea/coffee, glass of cool lemonaide, something that is refeshing to you. Because it is my prayer that this particular blog entry will be refeshing to your soul as well.

I have miseed two sundays in a row at church, prior to this past Sunday. It was so good to be back in the house of the Lord, and I often wonder what it is that keeps people away from such a wonderful place. Then I realize we are not all in the "same place" in our lives, and though many have been raised in church, I can attest that it isn't just about "being there". And I have been in many churches, and can say they are not all the same. Some, the evidence of the presence of God is there ~ you feel it with all of your being. That is my church home! THAT is where I long to be, and miss dearly when I miss.

This morning, that feeling of contentment I told you I awoke with ~ such a good feeling. It has been a while since I really took a moment to step out of my own selfish moment, to look around me and see what life is like. I look at our week we have had this week, and am just amazed at the turn around of attitudes in the children, my husband, and especially myself. Monday we left the house to run errands, and aquire some food for the week. Healthy foods ~ meats, dairy, veggies, and fruits. There was a 12 pack of Pepsi Max in there, and a package of Mother's Original Oatmeal Iced cookies as they are my husbands favorites. When we left the store the back of my Explorere was pretty full and I knew we would want for nothing special that I couldn't provide already at home. I have been spending more time in prayer this week, for my husband, myself, the kids, amoung others. For too long I have relied on others, to fullfill things for me. Food ~ by going out to eat too many times, fellowship ~ because I wanted to hear something audible , yet the voice of My Lord is amazingly more fullfilling. I am not saying that these aren't good things, they are. But they should not replace the original and authentic in which we were created to do. My hands were created to make food that is not only satisfying for my family ( as well as myself), but that is healthy and nourishing. Friendships are devloped and nourished by encouragement and lots of coddling at times. But the one frienship we can't ignore is that with our Creator. THAT is why we are here! Not only to share with believers and non believers alike, but to learn how to communicate and fellowship with our Father.

In saying we have not left our house, I have to say that is an amazing thing. For so long I would get us so busy we were running from place to place constantly ( honest, in search of finding "something") that when we were home it was still busy busy busy getting things done, so that when time rolled around again tomorrow we could go go go ! An endless and very shelfish battle I dealt with. I say selfish, because for so long that is all my kids knew. They knew there were happy and fun things to do elsewhere, and home was a place of "work work work" and why the heck would they want to be happy just being at home! Oh, what a horrible attitude!! I have been working on this for a while now, but not until this morning did I realize how things were changing! Changing for me, for them, and just overall for our entire family!

I spend all year with a ton of kids, I am not going to spend what little bit of time we have in the summer either entertaining tons of other children, or even selling my kids out in tons of activities. They need time to relax, and enjoy themselves right here at home. A good ol fashioned summer, not one I have to pay for to find entertainment for them. One that they can go and experience life as it happens, like when we were kids. I want them to wake up and just enjoy every single moment of their day and not ask "where are we going next" or "what are we doing next". Not once in the summer do I hear 'I am bored", unless they have been overstimulated for too many days, and then left to try to find something to do. As a preschool teacher I can tell you some of the changes I have seen through the years, and one of them is their lack of using the imagination that God gave them! Too parents do not allow free time to be able to entertain themselves in ways that build a creative and healthy imagination. That is so uspetting to me, and I see the effects it has on them as they get older. It becomes a battle of "I need this to entertain me" or I must be erolled in something to entertain me. When parents allow themselves to become so busy and so wrapped up in their own lives, that they have to enroll their kids in everything under the sun becuase either they need someone to entertain their kids for them, or they are too busy and feel guilty.

So, a part of this contentment feeling is realizing the beneifts of allowing my kids to be kids and not dragging them to and fro for everything. Do I feel guilty for not having them enrolled in lots of things? Not one bit. Well.. I guess I do when I hear of other parents doing it and I wonder if I am keepin them from something good, but then I am reminded of how they are going to remember being home, and being allowed to go and be free. Now, I went to a few things each summer, and I just remember "going", not what we actually did. THAT is not cool! And I have to remember that it is my responsibility and my privelage to go and do with the kids and learn with them, together. Nature walks are fun! Just a simple walk around the neighborhood is fun and educational! And ... FREE!! LOL

I didnt' realize how long this post was going to be, so if you need to go potty, or get another drink.. please do so because I am not done! LOL.... I am waiting right here for you to return!

Better? Good!

My husband and I are at such a very passionate place right now, and that is another obvious "aha" when it comes to this contentment. I love him so much. I realized through the years of all the times I prayed for his faults, never once looking at my own, how selfish I have been through the years. How many times I have NOT accepted him as Christ does. I found an old prayer journal from 2002, the summer right after the twins were born. I was going through alot at that time with my emotions, post pardom stuff, healing from a double birth c~section, and getting in gear of taking care of two infants, a house, and an almost 3 year old. That was a time in my life where God just completely changed my heart, my life. He became the most REAL he has ever been. I have never been one to outwardly say "Men are men" but I have thought it, and to be honest in a very degrading way. I hear things other women say about their husbands ( even family) and I think Wow! How could they!! But yep, you guessed it, there are times in our relationship where I have thought the same or even worse. Thinking it is no better then saying it! IN fact it is worse, because when you haven't spoken it, you haven't released it.. and it is harboring in you until something festers, then ... oh boy, stand back! LOL

I have realized that through this whole weightloss thing, that it really is a mind thing. But you know what? So are relationships! Yes, they are a heart thing too, but your mind and the way YOU portray things, effect the outcome more so then the heart itself. ~ Something to ponder ey?

Well, I am going to go for now, and enjoy my own little world. It is such a great place to be! Today we are leaving the house! We have been enjoying our very own backyard oasis this week, and today, it is our turn to enjoy someone else's! A time of fellowship, splashing, and the kids noshing on snowcones! That is our agenda. Before we leave, I am going to bless the house, prep as much as I can for dinner (we are having a taco buffet), turn on our own pool pump to continue filtering the pool as needed in such hot temps, and enjoy some more time in the Word. May you be blessed today, to seek out your own contentment in your life. If you are not there, and have no clue what that even feels like, spend some time in prayer, and ask God to help you become content just where you are! I can tell you when you do, you realize how blessed you are and how easy it is to find so much joy in your own little world!

Is the grass greener if you swap?

I am probably going to turn alot of you off by what I am about to admit to, but I love the abc show Wife Swap! IF you have never seen nor heard of this show (reside under a rock?) it takes the wives of two families and swaps homes and families with them. In every case, they basically pair up opposites and then ut them in the position of seeing if the "grass is truly greener on the other side" (or was that the motto from trading spouses?). Now, I could never participate in this kind of show because well ~ I dont' want to face the opposite of me. Make since?

So, if I would never participate why do I love it so much? I love seeing the diversity of the families. I love seeing what other famlies do ( kinda like why I love to read your thoughts on your blogs) and see if just maybe I can change smething to work better in our home/ relationships. Sometimes I have to pick my mouth up off the floor and shake it off, but wow. On Friday night, ABC runs a new episode ( or a repeat from the season), and then I will switch it to Lifetime for two more hours of old old old epsidoes. The older ones from the first and second season I have not seen all of those, so their fun to watch.

Anyway, if you have been reading any of my blogs for a while, you might remember me mentioning a book called "Facinating Womanhood". I have raved about what I have read, and to be honest I put the book down mid chapter, part of the way through the entire book and just haven't touched it since!! I have put it back in my book basket to finish this upcoming month. Anyway, the book was talked about on this show, and I am grateful. Otherwise I wouldn't have ever heard about it!

Have a blessed day, and never wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. Just do what you can to make your OWN lawn as green as it can be!